How to Deal with Sex Problems/Squirting


Hello, my name is Caroline. I'm sure you get this question a lot, but I have been trying to squirt for four years on and off... and more recently almost daily. I get super close to the edge, but can't get over it. I've tried relaxing, pushing, squeezing, doing nothing, enjoying, myself and my boyfriend.. I have used toys, fingers and my mind. I can't do it but feel it. How do I get over the edge? Please help.

Dear Caroline:

Squirting is due to the contraction of the Skene's gland (the female version of the prostate gland)and sad to say, not all women experience this (3 out of ten). Since you have mentioned that you sometimes feel that you are almost there, you may try to do the following (if you haven't tried them yet)with the assistance of your boyfriend:

a. ask your boyfriend to lubricate his hand (dominant) and your vagina with KY jelly or similar brand of lubricant.

b. Lie down on your back, spread your legs wide enough (without being uncomfortable)and allow him to rub your your whole vaginal area until you become really sexually aroused (he should watch out for signs like faster and deeper breathing).

c.Allow him to insert his middle finger into your vagina in such a way that his other fingers are pointing downwards(almost touching both cheeks of your buttocks) and his middle finger is touching the ceiling of your vaginal canal.

d.  Ask your boyfriend to move his hand upwards and downwards (without losing contact with the ceiling of your vaginal canal) slowly at first but steadily increase the tempo.  For additional pleasure, he may lubricate your anus and  stimulate it with his ring finger by making a circular movement ( and applying a small amount of pressure)around the anal area.

e. Continue this process until you squirt.

This is not a guarantee that you will squirt but it may give you extreme sexual pleasure.  Besides, it will not make a mess of the bed sheet : ).

Good luck.


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I have the ability to give mature and appropriate responses to questions regarding adolescent and early adulthood sexuality. Inquiries regarding gay and lesbian activities will be answered without moralizing on my part and will be purely gender sensitive.


I am a clinical psychologist with an MA in Counseling as well as a college educator who specialize in sexuality, and had been doing lectures, seminars and actual classroom teaching regarding the topic for more than 15 years. I also have a weekly radio program that listens to sexual, emotional, social and personal problems of adolescents and young adults that they themselves cannot discuss openly with peers or members of the family

BS-Psychology MA-Counseling

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