How to Deal with Sex Problems/Sex problem in new relation


QUESTION: Dear expert,

I'm 31 year old and recently married 4 month ago,my BMI is 28.45 I had used to have lot of masturbation in past life , but I  never had sex with any one before marry.
Marriage was my first experience of new enjoyment..but i have some issue during sex, Plz help me out, and suggest me whether these are normal or not, if not then help me to figure out, that how to cure or which physician i suppose to contact...Bez my first priority is to conceive baby as soon as possible (prefer a baby boy)

1-I noticed that i got proper erection before inter to but when i about to start inserting my penis, My penis get soft and could not maintain the same erection.

2- Does my over masturbation (i don't have night fall from last 8 years bez of masturbating) could lead me infertility or sperm reduction, if yes then what is the solution to be father soon.

3- what is the best sex position for full penetration and best orgasms to my wife( so far i used missionary position which seems to me that it's not give proper orgasms to my wife and no full penetration)
4- what is the best diet i suppose to use for me and my wife which is best for our sex life.
5- how often is ok to do sex with pattern, once in a day or with few days gap..
5- is any prefer position or time for intercourse for wife to be pregnant as soon as possible.  
you prompt response will be highly appreciated,My more focus is to conceive baby ASAP, if i need to have proper check up, plz let me know which test i suppose to go which physician.

Regards  SD

ANSWER: 1: Stop masturbating and this problem should go away- also have longer foreplay before intercourse to keep longer arousal period.
2: The more you masturbate the less sperm you'll store up, so the less of a chance you'll ahve of becoming a father.
3: Put a few pillows under her behind and do missionary, this allows full penetration and if afterward, she stays in that raised position for 30 mins, it is said to give her more chance to get with child.
4: any healthy diet will be fine, lots of water, lots of good red meat and lots of veggies, no junkfood.
5: The more sex you have the bigger chance you get to end up with a child.
6: Many many many women don't orgasm during intercourse at all, and even those who do don't get it often, so just keep trying different things.

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Thanks Dr. of your quick response but I just want to clear some more things,

1-As you said that more masturbation could have less chance to be father, Is there any self test for sperm anglicize (bez i noticed that my discharged liquid is not that much viscus, does it mean it already have less sperm count)because i feel shy to see doctor too.

2-I wish to have more and longer foreplay, but I do notice that some of liquid start discharging from my penis (does those are wastage of sperms?) and my wife get wet too is it ok for her..

3- I already stop masturbation from last 2 month, ...but how long could be ok to cure my past mistakes of so many years...and spacial vitamins u suggest...

4-I have seen a problem in missionary position, that I'm little fat then my wife, and I could not fit well in wife's hips..any solution..

Thanks SD

1: Generally speaking, the more viscus the discharge, the more sperm.
2: The discharge during foreplay is normal, it's called precum, it carries some but little sperm, and her getting wet is a good thing, it means she is excited.
3: You don't make up for the past, your testacles are like storage rooms, when they are full, your body stop making sperms until they get used, if they never get full, your body keeps making new sperms trying to fill them up. So by not masturbating, you just make sure that you're not wasting sperms, but you cannot make up for the ones you already wasted.
4: Change from missionary to doggystyle, google that, you can find alot to learn from- that way your wife's legs/hips won't be a problem.

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Johnny St. Tai


We often ask questions of the unseen and unknown, but most of the times, we're the ones that hold the key. I'm a counselor in family/sexual relationship, anger management, and self help, and have been for upward of ten years. I'm here to help you see the blind-spots that you've missed, and guide you toward the light. I'll research your problem/s/ and maybe even offer phone counseling if you so desire. Don't ask me about future, I haven't bought my crystal, haha. Don't ask me medical questions, without examining your medical history and person, I cannot answer such- best to seek out a local professional to be safe. Sex is a wonderful thing, so let us try to make it so.


Ten years of professional and voluntary counseling works have shown me much. I have walked with many others through various issues, some obvious and simple, some nearly impossible to imagine.

Richmond Chimo Crisis Center

Interpersonal/Social Relation Specialist, University of British Colombia Socialwork, 2005.

Past/Present Clients
Over 500.

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