How to Deal with Sex Problems/Do I have a sex addiction?

Advertisement


Question
Hey. Not sure if you can help me shed some light on this issue. I'm not even sure if its a real issue, but its bothering me. and i'm feeling a bit out of control. Long story short, I am worried I might have a sex addiction. or if not that, some other deep rooted issues? I can't stop having sex. With random people I meet online, I don't use protection, and I know its dangerous for a lot of different reasons, but I keep doing it. and I know its irresponsible. but I just don't know what to do. and it should be so easy to just stop, but it doesn't feel that way. i'm doing so many things i'm ashamed of. I have been having affairs with married men for example. and I am so ashamed of myself. this is not the person I think I am, or want to be. I have a very low self esteem. I feel like I get a slight high off doing what I  do, but in the end, after, I feel so hurt, and ashamed, and even more empty. I have not told any one,I'm scared of being judged. Although I deserve to be judged i'm sure, because this all makes me a terrible person i'm sure. but I just want to understand why i'm doing this and how I can stop?

Answer
Yes, definitely addition, and no, you're not a terrible person and shouldn't feel so.
Sex feels good, and things that feel good tend to get people hooked- that's not even listing other issues that may add to the addition- such as you mentioned, self esteem.
I strongly suggest you search out a local therapist- preferable a female one with experience in this field, or at the very least, addition counseling.
It is going to be a long and hard recovery, but if you're truly wanting to recover, you have already taken the first step- now all you have to do is take the second step.
http://www.sa.org/

How to Deal with Sex Problems

All Answers


Answers by Expert:


Ask Experts

Volunteer


Johnny St. Tai

Expertise

We often ask questions of the unseen and unknown, but most of the times, we're the ones that hold the key. I'm a counselor in family/sexual relationship, anger management, and self help, and have been for upward of ten years. I'm here to help you see the blind-spots that you've missed, and guide you toward the light. I'll research your problem/s/ and maybe even offer phone counseling if you so desire. Don't ask me about future, I haven't bought my crystal, haha. Don't ask me medical questions, without examining your medical history and person, I cannot answer such- best to seek out a local professional to be safe. Sex is a wonderful thing, so let us try to make it so.

Experience

Ten years of professional and voluntary counseling works have shown me much. I have walked with many others through various issues, some obvious and simple, some nearly impossible to imagine.

Organizations
Richmond Chimo Crisis Center

Education/Credentials
Interpersonal/Social Relation Specialist, University of British Colombia Socialwork, 2005.

Past/Present Clients
Over 500.

©2016 About.com. All rights reserved.