How to Deal with Sex Problems/Delayed ejaculation

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Question
Hi,
I am a 27 year old male. I got married 6 months ago and was a virgin before that. I and my wife are having sex regularly but I am facing the below 3 problems:
1. Most of the times after insertion the erection lasts for only 2 to 3 minutes and the penis looses erection without any ejaculation.
2. On other times the erection lasts for 8 to 10 minutes but still I am unable to ejaculate.
3. When I use condom the above 2 problems persists but the time of erection reduces to half.
I did not face any of the above problems while masturbation or in case of a handjob. In case of masturbation or hand job my erection looses only when I ejaculate and that too after 8 -10 minutes. Please help me in resolving this situation as I have only come inside my wife 3 - 4 times out of the many times we have done sex.

Thanks,
Harsh

Answer
Hi Harsh,

Usually with delay ejaculation there are two probable causes.  First is a sensitivity issue with the penis head,  often too sensitive.  Too many sensations and the body says no not this time.  The standard treatment for that is condom or desensitizing cream or spray.   You have already tried the condom with negative results.  That could still be the issue if the contact between the penis and the condom was to much.  you might try a spray.

The other cause is a psychological one.  Your mind is telling itself that we should not be doing this.  Often that is the result of strict upbringing or being taught at a very early age that sex was wrong in some way.  By now you have put so much pressure on yourself to perform that all of those issues exacerbated.

If it is purely a performance issue we can try something.  Allow yourself to be the tool for her satisfaction.  Your ejaculation is not the goal, her orgasm is.  You are blind folded, on your back naked.  She comes in and gets you full erect, then straddles you penis inserted. and she uses you as a sex toy to get herself off.  Don't think about your senses just be there for her.  

The other thing to do is get a therapist, sex or psychologist to help you work through the issue stopping you from having great sex.

Good luck,

How to Deal with Sex Problems

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Tom Blair

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Sexual Relationship Coaching. Published author. I am comfortable answering questions dealing with most areas of sex.

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Sexual Relationship Coach Neural Linguistic Practitioner Hypnotherapist Internationally read author. Retired Educator All relationships are based on having certain needs being met. Healthy relationships are ones where there is a mutual meeting of these needs. Respect, honesty, communication are just some of those needs When those needs and others are not being met, the relationship will fall into disrepair. Together we will identify those needs and work to correct the imbalance. It is not too late, love can be rekindled. And it can last a life time.

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Sexual Relationship Coach Neural Linguistic Practitioner Hypnotherapist Internationally read author. Retired Educator

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