How to Deal with Sex Problems/Porn addiction?

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Question
Hi, I am 24 years old. I started watching porn when I was about 14 years old. It really turns me on and make me want to touch myself. Also, it gets me EXTREMELY wet. The problem is, I have realized that it has affected my sexual relationship with guys. My brain has been programmed to only get turned on from porn, porn is the only thing that can get my vagina SUPER wet, and when I'm with a guy, I can never reach this level. I'm currently in a serious relationship and my boyfriend is upset because he can't make me cum from oral sex. And I told him it's because I'm a virgin which is true, but I think there is a bigger problem here and that is, I'm not AS turned on by him as I am from porn. When I watch porn I get instantly turned on and can cum so quick just by rubbing my clit, but when I'm with my boyfriend I don't get as turned on and I have never been able to cum once. Do you think I'll be this way forever? How do I reprogram my brain to be sexually aroused from PHYSICAL things rather than VISUAL things?

Also, I only ever watch lesbian porn. I'm sure I'm not a lesbian because the thought of being with a girl disgusts me and I'm totally attracted to guys, but I enjoy lesbian porn because girls are more sensual with each other and know how to take care of each others bodies. I imagine I am being eating out and it makes me feel good. I have wet dreams all the time of being eaten out, but when my boyfriend does it, it doesnt feel as good. I guess thats something he might need to work on, but what can I do? I want to be able to get emotionally/physically lost in my boyfriend during oral, I want to be as aroused as I am when I WATCH it being done to other girls.

Answer
You are very sexually inexperienced.  You don't know that you can only get aroused by porn.  You can't know what your arousal would be in intercourse unless you try it.  You might find it's completely different from masturbating.  Most people do.

I suggest you wean off porn.  Try to find fantasies that turn you on so you don't need to use visual stimulation as much.  Don't worry about whether those fantasies are lesbian or heterosexual.  It's good to be able to masturbate once or twice a month without using any kind of visual stimulation.

How to Deal with Sex Problems

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Doug Adams, Ph.D.

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I can answer questions in any area of sexuality.

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