How to Deal with Sex Problems/Lack of marital sex


Hi there, I have been married for just over a year and concerned about the lack of sex I have with my husband, almost non existent.
We have been together over 7 years and always had an amazing time in the bedroom. Summer 2011 I nearly died when I caught a virus that my body couldn't fight and my heart struggled.
I still get rib cage pain from time to time and have only been given the all clear march this year that I am in no danger and there is no long term damage to my heart.
Although we now know I'm ok my husband almost has a fear now that something may still happen. Even though we have been intimate many times since he now pulls back when anything happens ie kissing etc.
He won't go and see anyone about it so that idea is a waste of time. He tells me that he's trying to snap himself out of it and deal with it so things can go back to how they used to be.
Other than that we are how we have always been, happy and inseparable, but I'm starting to not be brave to make any first moves through fear of rejection or sex feeling like a chore.
Please help with ideas


You are healthy enough for hard core rough and tumble sex.  He just is having trouble fearing he might hurt you.

How about we try this.  You take total control of the sex and rather than making slow sweet love, you fuck his brains out.  To be blunt. Throw him down and ride him like a bronco.

Perhaps you can play a simple game winner gets their choice in the bed room. When you win take you winning out energetically.   This just might show him you are up for what ever sex brings.

Try it see how that works.

Have a fun day,

How to Deal with Sex Problems

All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts


Tom Blair


Sexual Relationship Coaching. Published author. I am comfortable answering questions dealing with most areas of sex.


Sexual Relationship Coach Neural Linguistic Practitioner Hypnotherapist Internationally read author. Retired Educator All relationships are based on having certain needs being met. Healthy relationships are ones where there is a mutual meeting of these needs. Respect, honesty, communication are just some of those needs When those needs and others are not being met, the relationship will fall into disrepair. Together we will identify those needs and work to correct the imbalance. It is not too late, love can be rekindled. And it can last a life time.

Sexual Relationship Coach Neural Linguistic Practitioner Hypnotherapist Internationally read author. Retired Educator

©2017 All rights reserved.

[an error occurred while processing this directive]