How to Deal with Sex Problems/sex advice


What advice can you give to a man who's wife will be working away for a few months?
We are very sexual and I'm always horny for my wife. I've wanked only a few times since marriage but felt so guilty as i wasn't with her. My wife will only have internet access in public places so phone sex and camera mutual masturbation won't be possible.

Id like to know
1.what advice can you give man to man about how to deal with not having your sex partner there when you always have loads of sex? Is wanking ok? Is it good  idea to film each other before she goes and then wank to that?

2. What advice can you give to us as a couple with how to cope with no sex for so long?

ANSWER: Masturbation is normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health.  It is also necessary in this situation where you and your wife won't be able to have phone sex.  I advise against making videos because of the possibility that they will wind up in the wrong hands.  Smartphones are just too easy to lose or steal.

There are perhaps ways you could text each other sexily.  That has been done, and in fact it was done before webcams were popular.

I think you'll be masturbating quite often while your wife is away.  You should accept that as normal, healthy, and fun, and even necessary for male sexual health and not feel guilty about it.

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QUESTION: Like all men, I obviously masturbated a lot before getting married, but I NEVER used lube. Is there a specific masturbation lube?

Also, are there any sex toys you would recommend for ne to use whilst masturbating? I read about the fleshlight, is it any good? Obviously, I normally have my wife so there's no need for toys, but I will while she's away.

There are three basic kinds of lube: water-based, oil-based, and silicone-based.  Water-based is the only kind recommended for sexual intercourse, so by default oil and silicone lubes are only for male masturbation.  Even so, water-based is the most popular sex lube for masturbating.  You can learn more here:

I don't recommend the Fleshlight, but I have heard many good things about the Super Head Honcho, which is also a lot cheaper.  

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Doug Adams, Ph.D.


I can answer questions in any area of sexuality.


I have been an AllExperts expert in seven other sex categories for over four years and have answered thousands of questions. I have also run a web site,, for over 13 years and have answered countless thousands of questions on that site. specializes in help for men with sexual dysfunctions.

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