How to Deal with Sex Problems/orgasms


Hello Doctor. I am a healthy 29 year old female who just started a relationship with the most wonderful man I've ever met. One problem... I can't have an orgasm when we make love....

I can give myself plenty during masturbation, no problem. But regardless of what he does, I can't orgasm... and he knows when I fake it!!! Being married before, I guess he learned how to tell when a woman orgasms... so he'll call me out on faking. Even if I tell him its not because he is bad at sex or inadequate in the penis... I had this problem before with a previous partner, but back then he allowed me to believe I was just incapable of having an orgasm... it put a huge strain on the relationship and made me feel like crap. Then I got into another relationship where we had great sex and I had lots of orgasms.... so why again?

I am on anti-depressants, as is he and anxiety meds. But again, I had no trouble with my recent ex nor by myself...

my new guy is willing to try anything... but I'm worried I really am incapable of orgasms....


It is OK if you masturbate while making love.  Some women even prefer particular sex positions that make it easier for them to masturbate.  Once you've gotten that down, you can work on showing your man how to do those same moves.  Another thing that might work is a small latex ring containing a vibrator that fits onto his penis and can stimulate your clitoris.

Your anti-depressants might be interfering.  Have you been able to masturbate to orgasm since you've been taking it?

How to Deal with Sex Problems

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Doug Adams, Ph.D.


I can answer questions in any area of sexuality.


I have been an AllExperts expert in seven other sex categories for over four years and have answered thousands of questions. I have also run a web site,, for over 13 years and have answered countless thousands of questions on that site. specializes in help for men with sexual dysfunctions.

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