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How to Deal with Sex Problems/Sexual Orientation\Penis Size

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Hello, ok my story is a little complicated so I'll start from the beginning. my English is not very good so I'm using a translator. I thought about asking this question in the category "Gay life" but it seemed more appropriate here because you are more familiar with psychological problems.
I've always been a normal, happy child, but when I was 7 years I had a surgery because I had phimosis. from there my life ceased to be normal ... I was ashamed of being "different" from others (in my country is unusual not to have foreskin) and also because (do not know if the cause was the surgery or not) my penis seemed to stop growing since I had the surgery and I always thought it was all related.I've always been interested in women but at the beginning of my adolescence somehow I got an obsession to see uncut penis. I do not know if it was to have lived my entire adolescence without a foreskin but somehow it excited me a lot, although emotionally be completely straight and imagine myself always in the future married to a woman. from that moment I began to see gay pornography to the present day and in that moment it wasn't more just about penis: all gay sex excites me. when I was 16 years I had a girlfriend with whom I got involved more closely and almost had my first time, but I do not know if it was the gay porn, it was because I am gay (?) or the fact that not feel manly the enough to dominate a woman. I enjoyed touching her but I never liked when she touch me in the penis or the area around it. I couldn't do it and I felt ashamed but she said it was ok cause she loved me. from there I felt horrible with my very low self-esteem. since there I never felt able to be with a woman. because I am very ashamed of my penis, because I have doubts about my sexuality and also because I think in the meantime suffer from erectile dysfunction due to the gay pornography that watched over the years. I've had a depression was diagnosed which could not heal with medication and do not know if my problem comes from not feel comfortable with my size or the fact that you are in doubt as to my sexuality. I wonder if my obsession with penis has to do with curiosity to see an intact penis or I've always been gay? or did I became gay because of this? or all these are movies in my head? already decided and I'm trying not see pornography and will also stop masturbation. Now I met this girl and I like her very much, only that I feel bad because I do not feel manly enough for her ... I'm afraid to get involved with her and again can't have sex with her... but thats what I want the most. I've fantasized my future life with a man but this is impossible and can not seem natural because I always wanted to have a wife and children. I do not know what to do, do not know what to think. I hope you can help me and hope you understood everything I wrote. thank you

Answer
It is quite possible you are simply bisexual- meaning you can be with both mena nd women.
The size problem, that is strictly in your mind, because most women really don't give a damn about penis size- it's only in porn and other medias that people make it look like women like men to have bigger penis.
Right now you have this unfulfilled gay fantasy, I suggest you concentrate in acting upon it- who knows, happiness may just be around the corner if you'd only allow yourself to try.
And assuming you really are gay, that doesn't mean you can't have a family. You can adopt kids, in many parts of the world you can even marry your gay partner.
You simply need to let go of the fear and concerns and allow yourself to experiment.

How to Deal with Sex Problems

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Johnny St. Tai

Expertise

We often ask questions of the unseen and unknown, but most of the times, we're the ones that hold the key. I'm a counselor in family/sexual relationship, anger management, and self help, and have been for upward of ten years. I'm here to help you see the blind-spots that you've missed, and guide you toward the light. I'll research your problem/s/ and maybe even offer phone counseling if you so desire. Don't ask me about future, I haven't bought my crystal, haha. Don't ask me medical questions, without examining your medical history and person, I cannot answer such- best to seek out a local professional to be safe. Sex is a wonderful thing, so let us try to make it so.

Experience

Ten years of professional and voluntary counseling works have shown me much. I have walked with many others through various issues, some obvious and simple, some nearly impossible to imagine.

Organizations
Richmond Chimo Crisis Center

Education/Credentials
Interpersonal/Social Relation Specialist, University of British Colombia Socialwork, 2005.

Past/Present Clients
Over 500.

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