How to Deal with Sex Problems/Mismatch in Libidos


Dear Dr. Adams,
My girlfriend and I have been together for a year. We are very happy together. We have just one problem. I seem to want sex nearly every day; she wants it maybe once every one to two weeks. There have been two exceptions: the first two months of our relationship and a week we spent visiting family. Both of those times, my girlfriend also wanted sex nearly everyday.
She is just as confused as I am, and it seems to bother us both just about equally. What are some things we can try to do to help my girlfriend desire sex more?

Most couples deal with their mismatch by working out a timetable for intercourse and the person who wants more sex masturbates on the days he or she can't have intercourse.  It is not at all unusual that you want sex nearly every day and your girlfriend wants it less.  But once every week or two is not very often, and that will not be satisfying for you.  You don't say how old you are, but it is typical for couples under 40 to have sex about three times a week.  Perhaps you could propose that frequency and see if your girlfriend would be accommodating.  

You might also find a book like "The Joy of Sex" and read it together and see if you can find things in there that will make your girlfriend want sex more often.

How to Deal with Sex Problems

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Doug Adams, Ph.D.


I can answer questions in any area of sexuality.


I have been an AllExperts expert in seven other sex categories for over four years and have answered thousands of questions. I have also run a web site,, for over 13 years and have answered countless thousands of questions on that site. specializes in help for men with sexual dysfunctions.

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