How to Deal with Sex Problems/Intimacy issues


My boyfriend is unhappy with our sex life. He says it's the same thing over and over. We have tried several different positions, bdsm, dress up, anal, I will give him foreplay (rubbing, blowjob etc) for 45 minutes straight, we use sex toys, I've done dance strip teases and he is still bored with our sex life. I've offered suggestions like having sex in different places outside the bedroom. He wants to try new things but when I ask he doesn't have ideas. He will sometimes go limp during Foreplay or during sex. He watches porn everyday to jerk off, whether we've had sex or not. I don't know what I'm supposed to do, I'm almost at the point of telling him to go have sex with other women because I feel I can't satisfy him. He says right to my face that he is bored with our sex and that sex with me is just ok, sometimes good. Please give me some advice, I don't know what to do to better our intimacy. (Just as a side note, my boyfriend is not abusive in any way, he just seems to lack any kind of sensitivity in this area).

The problem is not with you- it is with porn. He watches porn, and then compares you to what he sees in porn, and no matter how good you are, you'll never match up to porn which, is not real BTW. You need to break it to him that it is time to quit porn, otherwise he will never be happy no matter who he's having sex with.

How to Deal with Sex Problems

All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts


Johnny St. Tai


We often ask questions of the unseen and unknown, but most of the times, we're the ones that hold the key. I'm a counselor in family/sexual relationship, anger management, and self help, and have been for upward of ten years. I'm here to help you see the blind-spots that you've missed, and guide you toward the light. I'll research your problem/s/ and maybe even offer phone counseling if you so desire. Don't ask me about future, I haven't bought my crystal, haha. Don't ask me medical questions, without examining your medical history and person, I cannot answer such- best to seek out a local professional to be safe. Sex is a wonderful thing, so let us try to make it so.


Ten years of professional and voluntary counseling works have shown me much. I have walked with many others through various issues, some obvious and simple, some nearly impossible to imagine.

Richmond Chimo Crisis Center

Interpersonal/Social Relation Specialist, University of British Colombia Socialwork, 2005.

Past/Present Clients
Over 500.

©2017 All rights reserved.