AboutPete Expertise I am an Australian clinical hypnotherapist and counsellor who can answer all questions to do with male sexuality and questions relating to intimacy.
No problem is too big or too small. You can ask in total confidence.
Experience Comprehensive experience in hypnotherapy and counselling in Australia over a number of years. I have two very successful clinics that cater for people what to make permanent positive changes in their lives.
Organizations Full Member Australian Association of Clinical Hypnotherapy & Psychotherapy
Education/Credentials Bachelor of Arts Degree, Post Graduate Diploma of Education, Diploma of Clinical Hypnotherapy, Graduate Diploma of Psychotherapy & Counselling
Past/Present Clients I do not discuss past or present clients
Question Hi, I was searching the web and came upon this site.
Recently I started having sex with my fiance. However after about 2 minutes I climaxed. The second problem was being unable to get back a stance after this. This has been happening every time we have sex. Even though she says its all right. I still feel I need to do something about it. Can you please help!
Answer Hi Ronnie
I found this question in the "Question Pool".
Firstly, it is my understanding that 0-2 minutes is definable as Premature Ejaculation (PE).
This means that you need to spend some more time fine tuning your ability to control ejaculation.
So this is what I suggest:
1. Work on your foreplay. Remember that most guys need very little if any foreplay to get them ready for sex. Women are very different. Talk with your fiancee about what she likes, doesn't like and when she has had enough.
You should aim to give her at least 1 orgasm before having penetrative sex.
Make sure that your fingers are clean and the nails are trimmed. Take your time and enjoy this special time with your partner.
Positions:
Be aware that it is too easy for a guy to ejaculate early in these positions:
Missionary
Doggy style
there is too much stimulation on the head of the penis; and it is too easy to get carried away with thrusting.
Best positions:
cow girl (female on top) you do not thrust at all
spooning
the next thing is that you need to train yourself to be more aware of the pleasurable feelings that build up as you are getting close to ejaculating, so that you can control them.
My clients find masturbation to be the easiest way of doing this.
Set aside at least 20 minutes.
Use a high quality lube.
Masturbate with an awareness of the head of the penis...not just the shaft (as most males do).
When you are close to ejaculating. Stop, take a deep breath and let the moment pass. When you are ready to continue slowly build up the tempo and stop when you see that you are getting ready to ejaculate.
Keep doing this and when you have gone for at least 10 minutes you can allow yourself to enjoy the intensity of ejaculating and having a very strong orgasm.
Most clients find that practicing a couple of times a week it really helps them when they are having sex with their partner.
The second question you ask is to do with the male refractory period.
This varies greatly from male to male. Normally as a male ages the time in between having erections does in crease from minutes to hours.
You don't say how old you are, but I am guessing that you are under 40, which means that up to a couple of hours could be normal. Remember that stress, poor diet, drugs of any kind all will diminish your sexual ability.
Use this down time (pardon the pun!) to keep the foreplay happening with your fiancee.
I hope the above helps.
Feel free Ronnie to ask me a follow up question if you want to.
