Expert: Pete - 7/21/2007

Question
Well, you see, me and my girlfriend have been together for a few months now and we've been having sex regularly. She always says how great it is and things, but I don't think she orgasms. I never see a change in her reactions unless I go faster or slow down. She says she can't tell if she orgasms or not. I'm not too sure on how to tell if she does or not. Any advice?

Answer
Hi Shane

Thanks for sharing with me.

Some people are not sure if the good feelings they have during sex actually equal an orgasm.  The truth is that the definition of an orgasm in not really definable other than it is pleasure which builds up to a point of no return.  

Males usually combine the concept of orgasm and ejaculating and the two can happen easily without one of the two  happening.

Many people are not in touch with the depths of their sexual feelings, so be patient and open with your girlfriend.

Different activities/positions feel different for males and females...see what she really likes and do lots of it...see what happens the.

I have placed belong some notes that you may find useful regarding creating intense orgasms resulting in female ejaculation.  Another male reader found them most helpful with his partner.

The following is reliant on you finding her G spot and her being comfortable with you manually stimulating her.

You need to be considerate with her and reassure her that you care for her and will respect her wishes at all times.

Make sure that she goes the the bathroom first.

When a women feels she is about to ejaculate, the feelings can be very similar to the urge to urinate when you have a very full bladder.

It is my understanding that it is not possible to urinate at the same time of an orgasm, so what many people think is urine is actually ejaculate.

Women are able to hold back the sensations of pleasure that are building up inside of them because they think that they will urinate on their partner/bed etc.

Make sure the room is suitably warm and that your  fingernails are trimmed and clean.

Have at least 3-4 thick towels ready underneath her as she could expel a lot of liquid.

Pre-warm good quality lube in your hands before applying it to her vagina.

Use 2 fingers, hold 1 leg bent against her body, and then with your 2 fingers facing upward (palm up towards her belly button), push them in and out against that bump you feel which is her G spot.  The bent leg may need to be bent straight if cramp sets in.

Start really slowly, just making sure that you are  caressing the G spot, then speed up slowly until finally its fast and you are moving your arm more than your fingers.  Change the pace, don't keep the same rhythm and watch her body language and you should make her a happy woman.

Afterwards her vagina will be very sensitive - this can last a few days so be sensitive to her needs...make sure you help her out in any way that she asks you.  

Having a large glass of water for her would be a caring thing you can do for her; as she could be very exhausted from the intensity of the orgasm.  Make sure that she is warm.

If you need more info, feel free to contact me.  I would be interested to hear how you go.

I wish you well.

Pete

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