Expert: Martin M - 5/5/2005

Question
My girlfriend urinates while having sex. She is a wonderful girl, but this is a major turn
off to me. Is there something she can do to stop this?

Age: 49   USA

Answer
Dear David,

Are you sure it is urine? Some women ‘ejaculate' vaginal fluid when they come –quite a spectacular amount sometimes. It might be that. The difference is in the smell and the color.
In any case, I have some trouble not being jealous. An ejaculation happens only when the orgasm is mighty good, and urinating when making love means that your girlfriend has such gorgeous sex that she loses control over her body. No mean feat.

But if it is a turn-off for you, something needs to be done. Did you talk with her about it? That will have to be a first step. There may be things she can do about it, but she'll need to know what you want. The obvious option is asking her to void her bladder before sex. If that has been tried already, I'm sure she could do a training of some sort, but you would have to see a doctor for that. I can't judge what the cause for the incontinence is. I'm not qualified and I'm a continent away.
Beyond that, I can't think of anything. Women can lose a few drops of urine when sex is especially good, but I never thought of it as a problem. I DO realize it is unpleasant for you, but I have no solution ready at hand right now.

I will keep it in mind and sleep on it. Something might still gel. And if you have additional info, please ask again. Did you talk about it? What has she tried to do already? How much is it? When exactly does she lose the urine? All extras help.

Yours,
martin