Expert: Azure - 10/31/2007

Question
I'm writing to ask your advise I have been married for 2 years and we have been together for 4 years. We are supposedly trying for a baby for the last year, I have developed a few problems but I've recently had an operation to fix - we hardly have sex we have had sex once in the last two weeks. He is not very adventurous in the bedroom department doesn't like pleasuring me at all when we do do it it is just straight sex nothing else. All previous partners I've been with wanted sex with me every night so I feel really upset and a bit deflated, when we first got together he couldn't keep his hands off me. When we get  into bed he might cuddle me and tell me he loves me but that is it - I try with him but I get told to 'stop it babe' so I don't bother anymore he always goes on how much he wants a baby, I tell him you have to have sex to get pregnant. He doesn't feel there is anything wrong. I've told him lots of times but he just shrugs it off saying I'm being stupid. The worst part for me is of a night we go to bed both turn over and 9 times out of 10 he falls asleep I lye awake and cry. Then in the morning he will say to me I can't believe you fell asleep on me last night, tries to turn it around on me and blame me for our lack of normal and boring sex! I dream and think about meeting other people or having affairs with wild sex all the time I know I wouldn't as I took my wedding vows for a reason, but surely I shouldn't be fantasizing about other men
Please help and give me some advise I'm going out of my mind.
Chelle

Answer
you're not getting his attention; time to INFORM him, outside of the bedroom, that the situation is no longer acceptable, and that if he's interested in salvaging the relationship, he needs to accept this as HIS problem as well,and be willing to cooperate in solving it, which could very well involve couples counseling; something has obviously gone wrong here, taking away the passion and intimacy that are needed; if he's truly not interested in making this better, you're with the wrong guy..