AboutDr. Mac Expertise I can answer any question that has to do with working relationships, management skills or lack there of, conflict, and leadership. I primarily work with troubled teams, groups with poor management, or general dysfunction for over twenty-five years. I am also a professor at the University of Denver in the Alternative Dispute Resolution department. Go to www.greggiesenassociates.com to see my client list.
I'm using the alias "Dr. Mac" because he is the main character in my latest management book, Ask Dr. Mac. He plays a newspaper advice columnist on business issues.
Experience Again, twenty-five years of experience here. Email me at ggiesen@greggiesenassociates.com with any specific questions not related to this site.
Published articles written by Greg Giesen:
• Conflict Between Two Employees May Reflect on Organization, in the March, 2003 issue of the Denver Business Journal.
• Meeting Management: Let’s Cut to the Chase, in the March, 2003 edition of CHRA’s The Advisor magazine.
• From Conflict to Collaboration, appearing in the March, 2003 edition of Executive Excellence Magazine.
• Leading From Within, appearing in the April, 2003 edition of Personal Excellence Magazine.
• Only an Integrated Approach Will Increase Employee Motivation, May, 2004, OD Network magazine, Practicing.
• Motivational Mastery, appearing in the March, 2005 edition of Sales & Service Excellence Magazine.
• Creating Collaboration: A Process that Works, appearing in the July, 2007 edition of Projects & Profits magazine, India.
• The Value of Vision, Submitted to Chicken Soup for the Soul’s Lessons in Leadership, due out in January, 2009.
Books written by Greg Giesen:
• Creating Authenticity: Meaningful Questions for Meaningful Moments, 2001, ISBN: 0-9721114-0-9
• Creating Authenticity: Meaningful Questions for the Minds and Souls of Today’s Leaders, 2002, ISBN: 0-9721114-1-7
• Ask Dr. Mac: Take the Journey to Authentic Leadership, 2007, ISBN:
0-9788555-0-7.
PROFESSIONAL DEVELOPMENT
• Your Best Year Yet Certification, Best Year Yet, LLC.
• DiSC Certification, Resources Unlimited.
• Social Styles Pro II Certification, Cahners TRACOM Group.
• Consultant’s Training, Corporate Transformation Tools, Richard Barrett & Associates.
• Myers-Briggs Type Indicator Qualification Training, NTL.
• Adventure Systems & Design, Challenge Course Certification.
• The Coaches Training Institute, The Professional Coaching Course.
• Group Process Consultation, NTL.
• Mediating EEO, Personnel & Employee Relations Disputes, CDR.
• Conflict Resolution Workshop, Aiki Works, Inc.
• Facilitator Training, (270-hours), Good Works Unlimited.
• Wilderness Therapy Practicum, Colorado Outward Bound School.
• The Human Element, Will Schutz & Associates.
EDUCATION
Masters of Science, 1982, Miami University, Oxford, Ohio. Major: Personnel Services & Counseling.
Bachelor of Arts, 1979, Western State College, Gunnison, Colorado. Majors: Psychology & Sociology.
Expert: Dr. Mac Date: 3/29/2008 Subject: GENERATIONAL DIFFERENCES
Question Dear Dr. Mac,
I work in an office separate from but including Veterans Representatives. I am a retired military person myself, however I have a hard time dealing with the new military. All of them are on disabililty for non combat related things (which I totally abhor) ayet work full time and participate in activities appropriate for their age. I am a combat veteran of Vietnam.None of them has seen any of what it really means to defend the constitution. While I get respect, I have over heard the little whispers and heard the laughter about the "older guy".I am 59, don't smoke, don't drink and work out 4 times a week. When I attempt to enter a group conversation with them, it dies out and they disperse, I'm not that stupid not to take a hint - but I'm not insensitive either. I have no problem just letting them "shove off" and not be bothered, but it is work and we run into each other everyday. Is that the answer, just blow it off and ignore them ?
Answer Hi Charlie and welcome to All Experts.
Clearly it is important to you to have a relationship with your coworkers where there is mutual respect, collaboration, and even camaraderie. Given that, I would not settle for blowing them off or ignoring them until you've tried a couple of things first. After all, you should have the opportunity to create a working environment that is both conducive to you and that benefits the group as a whole.
First, be willing to look at yourself to see if in any way you are contributing to the current separation that is going on. You made some comments and judgments in your explanation (i.e., "All of them are on disability for non-combat related things which I totally abhor..." and "None of them has seen what it really means to defend the constitution") which makes me wonder if you might be coming across to them as an opinionated and judgmental person. If these perception are coming out in your comments or behavior, then you are contributing to this problem. To begin with, stop generalizing. When you bunch them together and project assumptions on them as a group, you are doing the very thing that they are doing to you. Can you see that Charlie? Stop assuming that you know what they think or how they feel. And stop lumping them all into one group. You need to start seeing these people as individuals and to realize that each one of them is guided by unique values and motivations. Sorry for being so strong on this point but it is not your place to judge them. Who they are is who they are. If you want to break through the current dynamic that is going on, then you need to begin focusing on them as individuals instead of seeing them as "a group." And that means being open to learning about each coworker individually and being willing to share more about who you are with them. But please, stay away from judgments and opinions. It is contributing to the problem, not helping.
As I mentioned, the key here is to begin fostering individual relationships with your coworkers. That is the most effective way to change group dynamics. And yes, I am asking you to go the "high road" by initiating this process. Specifically:
a) Start doing little things for others and don't expect anything back. Just do it because that is who you are. At first you may not see an impact, but eventually certain coworkers will notice it and begin to greatly appreciate your efforts. Again, be subtle and let go of any entitlement thinking that you should be getting anything back from this. It is not about them, it is about you becoming a "giving" person.
b) Take an active interest in others. Ask questions from time to time that let others know you are interested in more than just the superficial chit-chat type of conversations.
c) Acknowledge others for the little things they do with a "thank you."
d) Throw in a curve every once in a while. Bring in home baked cookies for no reason.
e) Kill'em with kindness and let go of judgment. Life is too short for you to be putting any energy on negativity. Charlie, how do you want to be remembered...as a kind soul who performed his duty and cared about people and his country? Or do you want to be remembered as a crabby old man who could not related to the younger generation?
Charlie, you have the ability to change this whole thing around by softening up a bit and being mindful and a little more caring of others. And yes, I get that this should not have to be just your problem to solve. But I know that if you make the little adjustments mentioned above, you will soon have others joining you and taking responsibility for the group dynamics. Someone needs to "go first" and be the bigger person, and I think that should be you.
You can do this Charlie. You are a great American and a great person.
