AboutLora Banks Expertise I can answer questions about how to build better relationships with bosses, coworkers, and employees. I can also answer questions about how to create more positive and productive work environments through communication skills, team-building, leadership development, and relationship building techniques.
Experience I am a certified professional executive coach, corporate trainer, and leadership development consultant. I specialize in helping individuals and groups deal with interpersonal "hot spots" or difficult issues. I frequently facilitate conflict resolution and often work with a partnership or team before a full blown conflict erupts to coach people to proactively create positive work cultures.
Organizations International Coach Federation
North Bay Coaches Association
Publications The Coach Approach Blog at www.lorabanks.com
Education/Credentials Instructor in Coaching and Leadership - San Jose State University
Certificate in Leadership - Co-Active Space
Certified Professional Coach - The Coaches Training Institute and John F. Kennedy University
Instructor in Business Communications - U.C. Berkeley Graduate School of Business
B.S. Business - U.C. Berkeley
Past/Present Clients McKesson Corp.
YAHOO!
San Jose State University
Prudential California Realty
Relocation Directors Council
San Francisco Dental Society
ReMax Realty
MBR Coaching
Other industry assignments have included finance, venture capital, real estate development and finance, medical research and development, software, industrial and sales.
Expert: Lora Banks Date: 7/11/2008 Subject: Dealing with a difult co-worker.
Question I work with someone who has now for the past 1 month been brown-nosing with my lead worker and using that to boss us other co=-workers around, this morning I came to work 1/2 hr early and she was at the reception desk questioning as to why I am early acting like she was my boss Please how I should I handle this should I confront my Lead worker.. she is doing this to the other co-workers as well acting like a boss.......
Answer Dear Lori -
I am not quite sure how brown nosing with the lead worker can be used to boss coworkers around. Maybe you could explain a little more?
The most important thing to remember is... your coworker cannot take your power from you. You certainly don't need to take orders from this person or answer to this person if they are not your boss.
I always recommend speaking directly to the person who is having a negative impact on you. In this case, it sounds like it is the coworker who is annoying you, right? The best way to handle her questions that you find offensive are with a sense of humor because it shifts the interpersonal dynamic. For example, if she says why are you in early and you respond, "To feed the chickens of course!" it has the impact of letting her know that she has asked a question you don't intend to answer AND it does not escalate to a conflict.
So humor is the best response. The second best response is to shift the topic to her by asking a question such as "What about that is important to you?"
A third idea is to offer her some feedback on the negative impact she is having on you. Best to be gentle and kind when speaking. You could just say, "I am wondering if you are aware that your behavior/question/comment is having a negative impact on me. Is that what you intended?" This approach asks her to clarify her intention and makes her more aware of her impact on other people.
The problem with going directly to your lead worker is that (a) it will most likely escalate or create a conflict; (b) the lead worker doesn't necessarily have the power to fix the problem; and (c) the lead worker would probably have a conversation with the other worker without you and you could not be sure how accurate your concerns are communicated by the lead worker.
Dealing directly with the coworker is best. It is just a matter of which type of communication feels most natural to you.
Kind regards,
Lora
Lora Banks, PCC, CPCC
Certified Professional Coach
www.TheCoachApproach.net
