Dealing with Bosses and Coworkers/Stay or Leave?


I worked one employer last year, but he kicked me out, of course I feel terrible.
This year he wants to hire me again, he said he did not hire anyone during these 3 months.
I am short of money, so I agreed to go back.
Then I found out he hired 2 employees during these 3 months. He lied to me.

The damage already happened, I don't think I can continue to work with him.

I only start last week, only make commission, not salary job.

Maybe I think too much?

Would you give me your answer?


The conflict is internal and not with others – yet, but it eventually will and as you have already agreed to go back you need a plan.  Your hesitation at wanting to return is apparently funds based and as work is work in our current fiscal climate I can understand your position.  Without asking, or needing to know the why of your earlier dismissal, you start be ensuring you don’t repeat the mistake or situation that would cause it to repeat.

What you might ask yourself first would be is it possible your employer has a motivation for asking you back? Has he or she realized you are worthy of rehiring? Or, is he caught short and needs someone quickly who already knows the operation and the demands and after you have served your purpose will you be summarily be dismissed again?  If you accept the latter then take the money until a better opportunity arrives and accept the lot. If you prefer to stay and can get past your earlier “kicking out” then negotiate for a better set of conditions and your retention as a commission based employee – better percentage on sales, guarantee of not being fired without more notice, and what conditions would cause you to be dismissed.

Set out to lay down the requirements and the expectations he or she has for your retention and yours for continuing to remain. I caution you to be careful in how you say things (the tone of your voice) if you have no other options for employment.  It will turn out very badly for you if your conditions sound like threats and not negotiable options.

Focus on how you are treated if better money cannot be obtained, and perhaps commission is set as to what you can be paid and won’t become a negotiating point.  You want to be treated fairly amongst other commission workers and you want to be treated respectfully – in return you will return the respect he will want and demand as an employer.  If would be nice if he had not lied to you but it is an imperfect world and people say what is in their best interests. In this case he wanted you back (perhaps to train new people or wanted you back because the new people cannot get the results he needs) and he is willing to pay you for your work.

If you need money then the job you have already done gives you an edge even with the people he has hired in the last three months. They may not be able to do well in case you are in the money, so to speak. If all he wants is for you to help train new people and then toss you then you need to be wary.

Trust is an issue but if he pays and you are treated well then follow your pocket. If you need to follow your conscience then the choice is to look elsewhere at your earliest opportunity.  Deceit in business rarely cures itself. What happened once can easily happen again.

I wish you the very best,

Lee Fjelstad, Vice President of the Verbal Judo Institute, Inc. – Pam Thompson, CEO
In Memory of Dr. George J. Thompson, PhD and Creator of Verbal Judo  

Dealing with Bosses and Coworkers

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Lee Fjelstad


I can answer questions on resolving professional and personal conflicts or communication issues in the workplace, with clients, in the home, or any encounter that needs or requires people conform to authority or common goal. My responses will be centered on tactics for getting more from the people around you, and toward gaining their voluntary compliance, cooperation, or collaboration. Please note that the answers will not be in the form of a “Dear Abbey” response and my personal opinions will rarely be offered, but rather a soft or hard argument toward resolving the issue or demonstrating that words alone will not solve your dilemma or predicament.


I am the Vice President of the Verbal Judo Institute, Inc., and for the last twenty years I have traveled between 240 -300 days annually conducting training seminars on Verbal Judo in the United States, Canada, the Caribbean, Scandinavia, the Netherlands, and in England. I specialize in resolving conflicts that rise from workplace differences, emotional issues that impact cooperation and compliance, and communication issues within relationships.

I have been interviewed regarding Verbal Judo as the subject in magazine articles ranging in interest from Conde Nast Traveler, Broker Magazine, and sports publications like Referee Magazine; to newsprint articles in the USA Today, the Wall Street Journal, and several small town newspapers. I have been broadcast internationally on CNN, nationally on NBC, ABC, and Fox, in Canada on CBC, and on local television; and interviewed on radio across North America and in Europe. In addition to the video clips I am currently producing, the President of the Institute, Dr. George J. Thompson has four published books on the market (with more in current development), and several audio and video programs.

My educational background includes degrees in English, Business, and Organizational Communication with additional work in Psychology and Behavioral Science.

Past/Present Clients
My client list ranges from corporate and customer service industries, and city and county government facilities; to airlines, banking, and real estate operations, universities, and referees in professional sports. My audiences number several hundred thousand people attending Verbal Judo lectures world-wide and as a company our associates have collectively trained over one million people. A web site with references and a partial client list is available upon request.

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