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Dealing with Bosses and Coworkers/How should I handle it...



I am a 26 year old male with a bad boss situation. When he hired me, he sort of looked at me as someone he could mentor and try to mold. I tried really hard to impress him and do well (this is a self confidence issue, which is now mostly gone). Unfortunately I have struggled with a self confidence issue all my life (he even made a mention of it before). I am a very hard worker and the longer I have been there the more compliments I have been getting.  I have gotten compliments from managers and staff members. I have been getting more responsibilities while he has had responsibilities taken away from him. One thing about me is that I work very hard, coming in early and staying late a lot. He never stays late and he comes in late a lot and leaves earlier and he is always bugging me about staying late and coming in early. He chalks it up to "time management issues". I first I thought he had my best interest at heart (being naive and stupid) now I think its bullshit. He has also been verbally abusive before. When I first started I devalued my own self worth and work and he always had me doubting my accomplishments, even when I had an excellent reputation there. It was never enough with him, everything I did was wrong at one point. I have tried talking to him about this but he always reverts back to his old ways, the last straw was when he gave a sub par performance evaluation and I drafted a 6 page response to it and showed it to his boss but his boss doesn't want to get too sucked into it seems and now he is writing a response. I don't feel like the stress and long hours are worth it anymore if I am going to get a mediocre performance review. How would you suggest I go forward? It seems like I never had a decent supervisor before and I am thinking about maybe going into business myself or something else like that.


If you are asking if you should quit, I don't think I have enough information to help you.  If you are asking what you should do about the sup-par performance review, that is a little easier.  In reality, the real secret is that performance reviews really don't mean much of anything.  That is why your boss' boss isn't getting involved.  Think about it this way, when a big promotion is available, do you think the big bosses go into a secret room and say, "Pull out all of the performance reviews from the last 10 years, and let's see who has the highest running average?"  In reality, they look to see who is coming in early, staying late, getting along with others, doing a good job, etc.  So, writing the 6 page response and going around your boss to get the review amended is probably hurting you, not helping you.  Forget about the review.  It literally means very little, if anything.  Just keep doing your job well, coming in early, staying late, and getting noticed in a positive way, and you'll quickly pass up your boss who seems a little lazy.

Good luck, and hang in there. It sounds to me like you have a great future.

Dealing with Bosses and Coworkers

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Doug Staneart


Doug Staneart can answer questions about gaining cooperation from, motivating, and influencing coworkers and employers. He is also an expert on how to avoid and resolve conflicts as well as other issues dealing with long term business relationships.


Doug Staneart has been a speaker and trainer for over ten years specializing in public speaking, leadership training, and team building. Doug is CEO of The Leader?s Institute® (Team Building Events) based in Dallas and author of the books 40 Ways to Influence People and Fearless Presentations. He has accumulated over 2700 hours of classroom coaching and training with over 400 of the Fortune 500.

BA Business Management

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