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Dealing with Crushes/crush on a senior


hi ricky.i'm 21 female,frm india as well.
i'm a medico.abt 7-8 months back i developed a crush on this guy 2 yrs senior to me.we were posted in the same ward in our college hospital. sometimes i got the feeling that he looked at me too which only led me to like him more. he talked to me once on his own,something abt the subject itself and that was all for our interaction.then the posting came to an end and i didn't see him for like 4 months or so.
then our exam time came and i used to go to our library to study(for like 20 days before the exams).surprisingly i found him there too day after day.on the first day tht he saw me there he looked at me for more than the usual glance.but maybe just because he recognised me.and then everyday i used to go there just so that i cud see him.when he used to leave or if he did not come for a day i used to get seriously off beat.
then after a few days our eyes met and i felt like there was definately something there.thereafter i wud see him everyday looking at me atleast once.i don't usually giv guys "the look" back but to him i did one day and  i swear evn he was looking at  me that day for like 15 secs.and sure it got awkward after that.
that day we were kind of sitting opposite to each other(but the library has small cubicles so u can't see the person in front of u). but wenevr i got up he wud look at me..and that day i cud have been 95% sure tht he too liked me.
but then again nothing happened coz my exams started frm the day after this so i had to stop going to the library
after this episode before we had our final exams i had again gone to the lib once to study.i was totally engrossed into my subject when after some time i saw him come sit in the seat opposite me..i don't kno whether he had seen me.anyway when i got up to leave fr a break he kept looking at me!and i kept looking down while gathering my stuff coz for some reason i find it very hard to look directly at him..
then our finals started and i didn't see him for a month..
now a new session has started since jan and i've seen him close to 3 times..once we were face to face..
problem is that i'm really attracted to this guy and i don't kno what to do abt it.and i don't kno if he likes me..earliar i had the hope that maybe he'd ask me out after the exams coz he's like totally free now..but i don't see that happening anymore..and i still try to forget abt him but i keep bumping into him at places..earliar i had never even seen him before in the college!
and wenevr i see him i get like totally disoriented for that day and there's this gut wrenching feeling i get..i don't know wht to do.
i sent him a friend request on facebook like 6-7 months back so he CAN contact me if he wants..i think he's shy too..i haven't seen him talking to many ppl so sometimes i feel that might be the reason.but don't suggest tht i go talk to him cause i really can't do it.and we don't hav any common friends
i look good and guys usually like me but i don't kno wht this guy's problem is.arrgghh i've never been this upset abt some guy i've never even talked to! please help

Dear Riya,

     Did this guy respond to this friend request on Facebook? It's just accepting a friend request, so I don't see his shyness coming in the way of this.

From what you have told,you have already given indications to this person that you like him or at least that you want to be friends with him. Wait till he responds to it. I know it's not easy but you should hold on here instead of feeling for it.

 Talking to him directly might help although you are saying you won't be able to do it. You can probably just think of talking to him about the subject as he is your senior. This will at least put you in a better position to understand what he thinks about you.Right now, you don't know what he is up to and so you have no idea where this is heading to.

    Finally, you shouldn't drive yourself to feel for any person so much as the person's absence causes so much of pain. It might be tough but please do try to engage yourself on other stuff like your studies or extracurricular activities. You will feel better about the whole thing. Don't give this too much of thought. In some cases, time is the best solution.
Please take care.

Hope this helps.


Dealing with Crushes

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I can answer questions related to crushes. I believe I can help teenagers about the problems and difficulties that they have when they get attracted to members of opposite sex. I don't think I will be handle questions on physical relationships and sex.


I am 29 now and I have faced such situations during my teenage and even after that. Based on this, I consider myself adept to be dealing with such situations.

I am an engineering graduate in Computer Science. I have done n M.B.A in Communication Management.

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