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Dealing with Crushes/Crush Advice... Sorta


So,  I have this guy that I met in 6th grade and we just really hit it off. We were both in theatre, so we saw each other all the time. We quickly became good friends. Then, when the school play of the year came around, I got the role of Snow White and he was my prince. It was a different version than usual,  but there was still romance between us in the play. Now, I had really liked him before, so I was sorta excited. It wasn't really awkward or anything because we are both hardcore thesbians and know it's just acting. Then people started trying to pin us together, even combining our names. They said he liked me, and my naive 12 year old self believed them. He would joke around with me all the time,  plenty of which would have counted as flirting. I finally came to the conclusion that that was just his personality and he didn't like me. It took another half year for me to "get over" him and I eventually liked someone else. I ended up telling that person and he liked me back. During this time, me and the original boy grew closer through school, choir, and theatre. He still did the whole flirty thing, and I still wondered occasionally, but was happy with just friends. Now, in 8th grade, we're pretty close. The other guy I liked, the one that liked me back changed schools the year before, so we are out of contact, minus the occasional email and I think I was starting to get over him. Back to the original boy, he and I are still good friends and are really comfortable around each other. He's matured a lot since 6th grade and I'm constantly noticing good things about him. When the school musical came around, we spent even more time with each other. We'd sit with each other on the bus and I'd lean my head on his shoulder when tired or sad. We've always been asked if we're dating, but we've also commonly been confused for siblings. I know I love him as a friend, but I've been wondering if it might be old feelings resurfacing. Today at the concert ee hugged twice for like no reason. We were also playing a game and he had to choose a girl to kis om the cheek. There were like ten of us, all his friends, and he chose me. I felt happy, but not the tingly I expected. The later, he hugged we three times during and after the performance.  Do you think he likes me? Am I starting to like him again? Sorry it's so long. I just want you to have all the facts. Thanks!

Dear Karrie,

From what you have said, it is likely that you are starting to like him again. In fact, I don't think you ever stopped liking him. You only went to the other guy since it didn't happen with this original guy earlier when you were in 6th grade.

The various things that he did like hugging, kissing you are common in your age. It is difficult to evaluate if this really means if likes you. In fact, it is likely that this guy himself has no idea and is doing whatever he does since he finds you good and attractive.

While it is OK to playfully flirt around with him, it might be a good idea for you not to take it to heart right now. I would suggest that you give more time to it. Wait till he explicitly tells you and for the time when both of you are sure. That doesn't mean you have to stay away from him. You can continue that regular plays and rehearsals. In fact, involve yourself more into them so that this guy is just a part of your world and not YOUR world. Get busy with different things in life like a hobby or a sport rather than thinking about this guy all the time. If it has to happen, it will happen even if you don't try too hard for it.

Hope this helps.


Dealing with Crushes

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I can answer questions related to crushes. I believe I can help teenagers about the problems and difficulties that they have when they get attracted to members of opposite sex. I don't think I will be handle questions on physical relationships and sex.


I am 29 now and I have faced such situations during my teenage and even after that. Based on this, I consider myself adept to be dealing with such situations.

I am an engineering graduate in Computer Science. I have done n M.B.A in Communication Management.

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