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Dealing with Crushes/Crushing on a Friend


I had this crush on a friend for a while, we've been friends for about 3 years now and i had confessed to him 3 months ago,but he said no that he only loves me as a friend. i cant stop thinking about him, its driving me crazy and it hurts a lot because i feel that he will never feel the same way. I was told by a friend that its because we don't have enough chemistry and i thought it was because we were friends, but before that he had a crush on another friend who he knew for just as long,so why am i different? He told me he solved his crush problem by never hanging out with that girl again, but i wont do that because he's in my group of friends that i see almost every saturday.

Dear Katrina,

From your question, it is clear that you really have feelings for this guy. There is nothing wrong in having feelings for a friend. Lot of relationships start with the couple being friends and then getting closer.

It's not necessary to have chemistry between both of you but it is essential that there is an understanding. The guy is clearly avoiding you for some reason. It is not important to understand why. It is important to acknowledge the fact that he doesn't like you the way you do. In case you keep chasing him, he might end up saying Yes to you. But then will he like you the way you like him ? That's not sure.

I know you really want him right now. But then let him go. If he comes back, then great.Else, let him go. You should probably get busy and focus your time and energy on other things say a sport or a hobby. You will definitely find someone who likes you the way you want them to like you. Wait for that! Don't feel bad over someone who doesn't want you.

For now, treat him as a friend like he wants you to treat him. Don't get carried away. I am sure things will fall in place and you will be happy.

Hope this helps.


Dealing with Crushes

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I can answer questions related to crushes. I believe I can help teenagers about the problems and difficulties that they have when they get attracted to members of opposite sex. I don't think I will be handle questions on physical relationships and sex.


I am 29 now and I have faced such situations during my teenage and even after that. Based on this, I consider myself adept to be dealing with such situations.

I am an engineering graduate in Computer Science. I have done n M.B.A in Communication Management.

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