AboutReed (John Rieger) Expertise I do not follow traditional methods of therapy that treat the outer symptoms or give the illusion of a cure with a bandage approach in order to make one "feel good" by denying the real issues, the inner causes. I have eleven intensive years of personal experience in many "NEW AGE" areas that have lead me to discover new ways and methods of REAL emotional healing and in turn also healing our mental and physical bodies. I work with healing ALL emotions, the mental blocks holding them in place and the physical manifestations they represent. I use the knowledge and insights I have gained through either personal experience or my experience in working with others on their healing journey. I also use my intuition and other abilities to assist others to touch and begin to heal their real issues. If you have intent to HEAL your emotions and to take responsibility for your personal well being then I may be able to assist you. If you are looking for a quick fix, don`t ask me. Reed
Expert: Reed (John Rieger) Date: 5/4/2008 Subject: Cousins hurt me psychologically - HELP
Question 4 years ago i visited my family in America and saw 2 female cousins. Back then i was 14 and was an ugly duckling, now i'm 18 male. The thing is I REALLY do not want to see them - because they damaged me psychologically. I used to be small (5ft6),skinny,ugly,lanky & had ugly acne and my cousins always told me this. They used to tell me i was unphotogenic, that i looked ill & horrible. One girl told me 'a secret' that a girl liked me BUT SHE told dat girl i was ugly which put her off......
However 4 years later, i'm 6ft 1,work out and have a nice toned body and i look MUCH better - they might complement me cos everyone has lately but it will just make me angry at them again....
Why did they put me through that? Are they shallow or stuck up? i didn't deserve to be put through that and it took me a long time to get over.... I will see them next week but i don't want to!
HELP ME !
Answer Hi Dani,
While you may think you are “over it” ..... you aren’t. You are just fooling yourself, otherwise you wouldn’t be writing me asking for help.. and that’s OK, as now you’ve learned a lesson on what it means to be REAL...
While it appears that they were the ones that hurt you.. they weren’t the first to attack you as you were already doing that to yourself before you met them... otherwise what they said wouldn’t have had any affect on you.. If they said you had green snake hair... would that have bothered you? Of course not, because you know it wasn’t the truth... What they said hurt you only because you already believed it to be true as you already hated that part of you...
The other thing that happened is that because you already hated yourself, when they poked fun at you, you didn’t respond to their unlovingness, you didn’t express your feelings, what you felt and so you turned that anger and rage at being attacked back in on yourself, and so now you are still angry at them... To heal this part of you, you are going to have to be REAL when you meet them and tell them how you really felt when they said what they said to you four years ago...
Yes they were cruel to you.. but.. looking at it from another point-of-view, what did this experience also teach you? What did you learn about yourself and your self-hatred that your cousins were reflecting back to you? What did you learn about your cousins? What can you now do differently? If they now praise you, will that make you feel good about yourself, and that they are REAL... or are they just telling you what you want to hear? To know if they are real or not, you need to trust your feelings and intuition and express yourself in the moment you feel that something is “off”...
