About Kimberly Expertise Hi, I have suffered through years of depression and the many disorders that
come with it. It is a very scary experience and hard at times to get through
the day. But I have now gotten to the other side of the pain and found hope
and courage and life. I want to be a person you can feel comfortable talking
to, and in talking with me that you can feel at ease knowing that I have
been there and I do understand. I want to be a friend and listen and I will
do my very best to ease the feelings you feel and help you in your journey
to a better happier life. You are not alone and I would love to be there to
help you fight.
Experience My greatest accomplishment is knowing that I have been there and today, I'm here to help others in their healing. The biggest accomplishment lies in those who write for help in so doing they are taking a huge step in their healing!
I am currently a student in Psychology, and have been certified in Crisis prevention since 2001.
Expert: Kimberly Date: 5/27/2008 Subject: Relationships and Breakups with Depression
Question About a year ago I met this guy. He was a bit younger, and having been in
many relationships that ended because of immaturity, I was concerned about
this. Nevertheless, after a few months of him calling and asking me out, I
finally agreed. It turned out to be the smartest decision I ever made. He is
wonderful, loving, supportive and incredibly smart. He reads me like a book
and understands me like no one I have ever met. He is my best friend and I
love him more than anything.
About three weeks ago he started acting strange- distant, quiet, sleeping a
lot- it was all the classic signs of the depression I have always known he has.
Part of the reason that our relationship has been so strong is because I too
suffer from depression. Although we were very careful not to become
co-dependent, we could always talk about things that no one else ever
understands and we are always there for each other.
I knew something was wrong as did his mother and brother, both of whom I
spoke to about the issue. Two weeks ago, he told me that he wanted to end
things, at least for the summer. He said he needed to figure things out and
then when I asked him to elaborate, he began listing a whole magnitude of
things that made no sense. I knew right away (after all it is a defense I have
used myself) this was because of his depression.
I love him so much and I have been doing my best to give him space, but I
miss him and the fact that I cannot be there for him right now is killing me. I
am sad too and depressed and I have other things going on. It is hard not
being able to talk to him about these things too.
The only thing I can do is send him emails asking how he is doing. He is
sounding better which makes me happy, but I just don't know what to do. I
love him more than anything and I never imagined I could be this happy. I
want to get back together. I am trying to be supportive and give him space,
but how can I do that and be there for him while at the same time express to
him, that I want to be back together without seeming overbearing? How can I
get him back?
Answer Ashley,
I am going to be very honest with you. I know how hard it is to let someone you love so much go, and hope with all you are that they’ll find their way back to you.
If this was you, how would you want him to respond? How would you hope that he’d respond? I understand that it’s really hard and scary. But… he needs this time, just like you need him in your life. So this is one of those times that you suffer for love.
Keep in touch with him, show him that you care. Talk to him if he is willing to talk.
I fear if you push too hard, this may in fact only hurt your chances of him coming back. Does that make sense?
I’m sorry that it’s hard and it’s scary, but try to have faith in your love and its strength. Trust and believe that it will bring him back to you. That you’ll be ok, that together you’ll be ok.
I wish you both the strength it takes to get through these hard times,
Kim
