About Kimberly Expertise Hi, I have suffered through years of depression and the many disorders that
come with it. It is a very scary experience and hard at times to get through
the day. But I have now gotten to the other side of the pain and found hope
and courage and life. I want to be a person you can feel comfortable talking
to, and in talking with me that you can feel at ease knowing that I have
been there and I do understand. I want to be a friend and listen and I will
do my very best to ease the feelings you feel and help you in your journey
to a better happier life. You are not alone and I would love to be there to
help you fight.
Experience My greatest accomplishment is knowing that I have been there and today, I'm here to help others in their healing. The biggest accomplishment lies in those who write for help in so doing they are taking a huge step in their healing!
I am currently a student in Psychology, and have been certified in Crisis prevention since 2001.
Expert: Kimberly Date: 5/28/2008 Subject: loss of a loved one
Question Hi. My name is Irene and I'm thirteen years old. I recently lost my mother in April from SLE Lupus, MVP, and more issues. I have two older half sisters and a younger brother that is 11 with high functioning Autism. He doesn't know that my mom past away because he would shut down and be severe. He thinks she's in the hospital and sooner or later he's going to find out on his own. My father is 47 and my mom was 47 when she past away. My dad is in the US Army and I could tell he's stressed and misses my mom a lot. I've probably took it the hardest. On my mom's last month of life, she has been warning us that she's leaving but it didn't hit me then that she's going to pass away very soon. Since her pass and burial, I haven't cried or showed emotion of her loss. I cried only a few days ago when my friend's older brother was cracking rude jokes about her leaving. He started hitting me and we got into a fist fight. I am a poet and I've been writing poetry about her and been writing letters to her about memories and that I miss her. I would seal the letters and put them in her keepsake box. I go through her photos a lot and try to remember old times. At night I dream of her and wake up and sit in the living room. She appears as a spirit but it's not see- through like a ghost. She sits at the other couch and tells me to be strong and she's always with us even though she's not here. And she said that she gave me part of her. When I tried to talk back she disappears. Lately, people have said that I'm more like her everyday. I am usually shy and quiet and let people step all over me but now I'm more like her. Standing up for what I believe in. I think when she said she gave me something, I think it was her courage. I have been quiet lately and I try not to cry because I'm still in shock and the grieving hasn't hit me yet. I'm very depressed but it hasn't affected school yet. What should I do? I know my mom wants me to be a strong girl now that I'm the lady of the house. I just don't know how to get out of depression. And I'm so young and I really need advice. Thanks and sorry for writing too much.
Answer Irene,
Wow, you’re so young, and yet so grown up! It’s Ok if you can’t be strong and if you need someone to help.
It has been a short time since losing your mom and it sounds like you are just barely handling the grief and you may need help with the process of grieving and healing.
Also, as much as it is comforting to be seeing your mom in spirit, it’s also alarming and could also be dangerous to your long term healing from this loss.
Are you able to get counseling for your grief? Maybe support groups? If your Dad is in the service who is watching you and your siblings at 13 you’re too young to do this alone.
Especially with your brother that suffers with Autism.
You’re right he will find out and you’ll need help, helping him handle that.
It’s really important that you get some help, counseling and get some grief and loss counseling, and then find out how to help your sibling with Autism get help (as well as your other siblings). Irene, please do not do this all alone, reach out and get some help.
