About Aleah Expertise I've suffered depression, and I hope I can help you through it. I used to believe I had no
value in life, but now, each day is a new adventure. I want to help you find that hope. I can
answer questions about managing stress and depression, becoming more organized,
feeling happy, and finding pride. I can even answer questions pertaining to helping a
friend in need.
I cannot answer medical questions! I can't diagnose or suggest any anti-depressants.
Experience I've suffered depression and climbed the hill to what I believe is the best I've ever felt. I've helped friends feel more energized as well.
Education/Credentials I am currently studying psychology and education.
Expert: Aleah Date: 6/20/2008 Subject: Could depression be the cause?
Question Hi,
i met my girlfriend about 6 years ago, she was the sweetest and nicest person, always smiling.
She cheated on me pretty much every 6 months and i kept forgiving her cause i love her so much, and i know she loves me too, but i think she had commitment problems.
about 2 months ago i went back to my country to visit and i use to cry and miss her every day and i called her every day and she seem the same way.
But when i get back i find out that she cheated on me again and had done even drugs and party a lot, she finally told me the truth and i broke up with her, because it was enough... 3 days after we broke up she tried to kill herself, came to my job and told me she had took a lot of pills and said goodbye, i called 911 and they picked her up.
She stayed in the hospital overnight and when she got out she got in a fight with her mom, and decided to check herself in a mental hospital, i took her there and we've been talking on the phone, and she's been asking me to take her back cause all the stuff she did was because or triggered by her depression and maybe bi-polar disorder.
My question is: I don't want to get hurt anymore, could i trust her that it really was because of that? she also said she is tired of being a kid...
Answer Monica,
Nobody really knows except you what's truly in your heart. Do you really want her in your life? Can you live without her? What would it be like if she wasn't your girlfriend?
If the pain of being cheated on and her depression is pulling you down, I suggest you don't go out with a person like that.
but if you decide you truly do love her and need her, you MUST lay out some ground rules. Relationships live or die on communication and honesty, and it's really not fair to you if she keeps doing it to you.
I think depression/anxiety/bi-polar disorder can make you lose feelings for a lot of stuff. For instance, if you LOVED playing golf, if you were truly depressed, you might even lose interest in that for quite some time. Likewise, she might've lost interest and energy in the relationship for a while.
The most important part right now is that she gets the help she needs. Try to keep things on the "sunny" side of life when you're with her. People who are depressed need all the love, support, and positive thinking they can get.
Also, let her know that she CAN change - that she doesn't HAVE to cheat - she doesn't HAVE to be a "kid" - if she doesn't want to. She should be who SHE wants to be. If she wants to be stronger and more honest, remind her that she CAN.
