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About Kimberly
Expertise
Hi, I have suffered through years of depression and the many disorders that
come with it. It is a very scary experience and hard at times to get through
the day. But I have now gotten to the other side of the pain and found hope
and courage and life. I want to be a person you can feel comfortable talking
to, and in talking with me that you can feel at ease knowing that I have
been there and I do understand. I want to be a friend and listen and I will
do my very best to ease the feelings you feel and help you in your journey
to a better happier life. You are not alone and I would love to be there to
help you fight.
Experience
My greatest accomplishment is knowing that I have been there and today, I'm here to help others in their healing. The biggest accomplishment lies in those who write for help in so doing they are taking a huge step in their healing!
I am currently a student in Psychology, and have been certified in Crisis prevention since 2001.
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You are here: Experts > Health/Fitness > Mental Health > Dealing with Depression > self confidence
Expert: Kimberly
Date: 7/22/2008
Subject: self confidence
Question
Hi, I'm a high school student who can't seem to find a place to fit in. School in terms of grades and academics has always come easy to me, however, the social aspect of school has not. When i come into school everyday I go to my locker get my books then go immedietely to class no matter how long i have left until the class actually starts. Don't get me wrong i do have people at school that i talk to its not like I'm quiet all the time but i always have this feeling that im being judged and that people are talking about me and i can't help but wonder what their saying. Are they saying I'm weird, shy, strange or that I'm smart, kind and easy going? I can only hope it's the latter.
Since school has come easy to me and i dont really have to work at it, i have become accustomed to trying to be the best at something without working for it. Because of this approch to situations i often find myself quiting because it doesnt come that easy. Overall i feel that my desire to be the best at something is fueled by the prospect of what other people will think of me if i succeed, however, since i often end up quitting people start to view me as more insecure than i was before.
Recently my best friend and i have been attending parties. I have to be honest the whole situation makes me cringe. Its not the things going on at the party that make me retreat, it is the thoughts that go through my own mind as soon as i get there. Im so afraid of looking stupid or foolish and not being fun enough or lively enough that i drive myself into a self lothing, insecure mood that immedietly shows in my actions and brings the overall party down. When i get into these moods i start to pity myself so much that people start to feel sorry for me. I become irritable, depressed, ill tempered and sometimes violent (Im not a very big kid so i cant really hurt anyone but myself). I distance myself from others and push them away. This process seems to repeat itself over and over.
I cant make sense of anything when it comes to social relationships.
Answer
Brendan,
Your need to overachieve and your fear of social situations, makes me think back to your family. How are your family relationships? Do you feel fulfilled and secure within your family?
Also, I wonder if you are not dealing with or developing Social Anxiety Disorder. Agoraphobia?
Of course I can not diagnose but these are just feelings I have based on what you are saying here.
I would encourage you to get some counseling. Counseling can get to the root of your fears and insecurities and help you work through them.
I wish you all the best,
Kim
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