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Dealing with Depression/How to deal with my depressed dad

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Question
Hello friends, I am looking for some genuine help....Please help me..
I lost my Mom 4 years ago. My dad, (who used to work in service) had left his job when I was 16, and my mother was the sole earning member of the family (we had money from Father's service..and things were going fine). Since my mom passed away, I started job and supported my dad..(we are a small family, only me and my dad)....Now I am married and have a kid...( 5 months old).....my inlaws and husband are very supportive,loving and caring people for me and my dad...I was hoping that my dad comes and starts living with us so that we all stay happy together and I can take care of him....

But ever since my mom has passed away, my father has become very sad, unhappy, demotivated..I also try to support him financially (He also gets his rental income)....we also try to create a livel environment around him...but he is still very demotivated and unhappy in his life...I have tried to motivate him to pursue some hobby, pass his time productively... have called him to stay with me..so that he may feel happy with all of us....but he is still not a happy man...

I feel very troubled for him...and I love him a lot..even my husband his family care for him geniunely...please suggest me any ways so that we can motivate him..or try to make him happy..

He wants to go back and stay alone..but I have seen when he stays alone, he gets very very depressed...at times he doesn't even eat for entire day and remains in the same room for many days..He has confessed this to me...so I don't want him to stay alone..and I am not able to make him stay with us either....please suggest me what should I do.

Many Many thanks in advance for you advice

Answer
Dear Sweety,

First let me say I am sorry for your loss of your mother.

It is, of course, natural for one to grieve after the loss of someone dear.  This period of adjustment and grieving usually ends within 6 months to a year.  Sometimes, however, people struggle to accept the loss and continue on with their lives, and it sounds like your father may be one of those individuals.  This is especially evidenced by his staying isolated and not eating for days at a time.

If you haven't already done so, it may be time to have a heart-to-heart discussion with your father about your mom's passing and your concerns about him ever since.  Social withdrawal is one indication of clinical depression.  You may wish to suggest your father see a counselor to talk about his feelings over the loss of his life partner.  They may even discuss medication to help with his depression.

In the meantime, just be there keeping a watchful eye on your dad as you have been.  I'm sure it is comforting to him to know you care so deeply for him.  Also, please encourage your dad to visit with friends or family, as they can be great supports during difficult times.  Whatever will get your dad out of isolation should help.

All the best to you.

Frank Saia

Dealing with Depression

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Frank Saia

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I can assist with issues related to: Depression, Relationships, Self-esteem, Anxiety (mild-moderate), Overeating, Grief/Loss, and Existential/Spiritual concerns. ***Please Note: I am not trained in medicine, and therefore cannot assist with questions of a medical nature, including those related to medications and their effects. A Psychiatrist is a medical doctor schooled in Psychology, and is best-suited to respond to such inquiries. ***Disclaimer: I volunteer as a way to serve others, and offer assistance in the form of information based on my training and experience. I do not provide advice, and cannot assume responsibility for any actions or outcomes related to the questioner; such responsibility rests solely with the questioner. ***If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, help is available. Please contact the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (in the U.S.) at 1-800-273-8255. If the risk is immediate, call 911 or the number for your local Emergency Personnel Services.

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I am trained at the master's-level in Mental Health Counseling, and have worked for many years in the Social Services field.

Education/Credentials
I am trained at the master's-level in Mental Health Counseling, and have worked for many years in the Social Services field.

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