Dealing with Depression/Depressed or just lazy


Hi ... I am 31 and I live in India , I am married with no kids to a wonderful. Man who is on the merchant navy he is away for 6 Months  and  is back for 4 . I am a teacher , lives with my in-laws for the last 3 years and everything seems to be fine on tha front . Over the last two weeks I am feeling sad , just sad ... It has not affected my sleep , food intake or work. In any way ... I am just bugged ... Even though my house chores get done ...  I am bugged .. I am in touch with my friends and talk to my mom every secod day .recently my mom in law went to china and it's only my dad in law and me . My husband who used to write regularly has stopped writing as his ships comp is not working .

Sometimes I just lie down on my bed and dream ... Or stare at the ceiling ..  I am in a process of doing up the house .but I keep postponing it . I don't know what to term this as . I am just bugged , but I sleep well. Am keeping well   Is it. That I am just feeling. Low , depressed , missing my family. Or just. Lzy

Plz. Help



Hello Joanne.

Thanks for writing to me.

To answer your question in a simple way, you can look at this from two aspects. One, what do we name it as; the other, why this is happening.

1) What do we call it - Depression / Sadness ?

Some of the things you have shared in here do sound like symptoms of mild depression. However, they don't seem to be adequate to call it a depressive disorder in the strict sense.

Laziness?  -Doesn't seem to be the case. We use the term 'lazy' usually to describe a long term personality factor. In your case, your current state of mind is there only since about 15 days or so.

You can look at this as a phase of low mood / mildly depressed state / sadness (but not too obvious).

2) The more important question - why do you think this is happening?

Our mood depends on the thoughts we entertain in our mind. In other words, thinking in a particular way might being about happy feelings and thinking some other way might bring on sadness. Thoughts decide what kind of mood there will be.

And these thoughts, in turn, are triggered by certain events happening around us or within our mind. As you have mentioned, a regular absence of your husband, and the current absence of your mother in law could be acting as triggers for certain thoughts in your mind which might be leading to sadness. You will have to explore if this is the case. I will give you a few questions as cues to find out what thoughts might be causing this phase of apparent mild depression or low mood.

a) What is the recurrent theme in your thoughts these days? Especially when you are staring into nothingness?

b) What change would you like right now in your environment or life for you to feel happy again?

c) What are your thoughts about the nature of your husband's job? Please write unedited thoughts.

d) Do you miss having more people around you in your home?

These are just some cues. Please take some time and use a paper and pen to write answers to these. You can write as much as comes to your mind. You can send me a message when you feel like sharing. We can find out if there is something you can do.

Apart from this, please make sure you are not suffering from any viral infection such as a flu, common cold, etc.

Hope this helps a bit. Let me know more of your thoughts.

Take care.

Dr Abhijeet Deshmukh

Dealing with Depression

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Dr Abhijeet Deshmukh


Hello. I have volunteered here to help you with questions regarding Depression. I intend to focus on the questions which are about how to deal with depression. Even if the depression is part of some other disorder, you can ask me about that. You can also ask me questions related to Psychotherapy for depression. I apply the principles of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy in my own life, and also help my clients/patients with those. I believe in providing my clients/patients with the best possible and evidence based information. The same applies to the online answers here, too.


I am a trained Psychiatrist working since over 9 years. I am also a certified Psychotherapist (Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy).

Indian Medical Association, Nagpur Academy of Medical Sciences, Nagpur

"Effect of Indian classical music on quality of sleep in depressed patients: A randomized controlled trial" - (Main Author) - Nordic Journal of Music Therapy, Volume 18, Issue 1 March 2009 , pages 70 - 78

I have done my MBBS from the Government Medical College and Hospital, Nagpur. Psychiatry training - DPM (Diploma in Psychological Medicine) from BYL Nair Charitable Hospital, Mumbai. Psychotherapy training - Primary + Advanced Certificate in REBT from Albert Ellis Institute, New York. Basic + Advanced Certificate in REBT from In Vivo - Mumbai Center for REBT, Mumbai.

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