Dealing with Depression/whats wrong?
Hello, thanks in advance for taking your time to answer my question. Im a 21 year old male. Since as long as I can remmember i am a person that gets to attached to people and or object. For example if I have a really good friend I will do anything possible if she or he is in trouble. Well, since I was 15 year oldI started to bbabysitt to earn some money. I starting taking care of this little girl. I spent so much time with her that I actually started getting to attached. I treated her like my daughter and any time she was sick or she had a problem I was there. I like the idea of someone younger looking up to me, the fact that she said she looked at me like her "hero". I have always been pretty mature. So years passed and now im 21. I dont babysitt her anymore because I got a real job. I still see her like once a week because the little girls parents hang out with my parents. And for some reason im still extremely attached to her. I like to buy hee stuff and take to trips. Her parents a okay because she treats me like her big brother. Well recently I was in a a gathering and she was there next to me at all times. Well I started to hear that peoplw said I was weird hanging out with a little girl. By the way she is 10 now. They were calling me pedophile and that who knows what I did to her. My parents said to stop seeing her or beeing next to her the next day after the gathering. I felt crushed how society thinks that once they see you with a little girl, that im doing something bad. So I stop seeing her because I just "followed" society. Well, I starting noticing that I started to miss her and I have been really depressed. I was always mad and days are gloomy. She called me like 3 times a week. Her mom said she missed me. I just blamed it on the job.i see like 1 or 2 a month. Her mom said hee mood changes when she dosnt see me. I just cant beleive I gor soe attached to this girl. I treat her like my daughter for like 5 years and all the sudden I have to forget her because people think im a bad person!. I do have a girlfriend but for some reason I still cant get her out of my head. I just feel extremely myself beeing around her. I dont have to be the person with the money or the tough guy when im with anybody else. I can just be quite and not say a word and she still likes my company. So what can I do to just forget this little girl? I feel like im treating her like my daughter too much and I like spending to much with her , and the most is that I dont like other people thinking im a pedophile altough I dont see her ot think about her in a sexual way. I prefer killing myself if that runs through my mind. Thats just horrible! Im not like that. So what can I do? Thanks
You don't have to be "alone" with her, or stop seeing her...you need to get others, like your parents, and you gf, involved when you're taking her out and things. If when people see you and her together there's always your gf there or someone else, like your parents, or friends, they can't very well think there's something sexual going on.
If you have right in your mind, you should not stop a friendship because of what other say- it is not fair for her if you abandon her- especially if she looks up to you as you said, just because of others mistaking the situation.