Dealing with Depression/dealing with problems


I am spending a nice life, But still some minor problems are creating messy in my happiness. They are:

1) Sometimes , for no reason I use to feel jealous.
For example: if I am with a person and that person talk to another person. In this case, I feel so bad and jealous. I want that, if a person is with me, then that person should be with me always. That person should be mine always.
I don't want my peoples (those who are with me) should be others friends too.
I know that my thoughts are ridiculous and that can't be possible, that a person should be my friend only. But what should I do my thoughts are uncontrollable.

2) My second problem is that I can't accept new people and sudden change in my life and in my daily routine.
For example: if someone comes suddenly in my home and that person say that he/she will be in my home for next 3 or 4 days.
In this case I will be so disturbed by the sudden presence of that person.
I like people come in my home and stay there for long but I want they should inform me early, so then I can set my mind for that.

3) My third problem is dealing with different minds.
I can't deal with a different mind
For example: if I am sitting in a room with 4 to 5 different persons and  they all are talking, if someone talks about something which I  don't like or disagree about that thing, then I feel so bad and my mood swings completely and I began to dislike that person.
Accepting new and different persons and sudden changes of life and daily routine is disturbing me a lot.
Please help me!
I will be thankful to you!

Hi Ali,

Ego! That little thing we call "I", "me", etc. It is the ego that likes or dislikes, hates, judges, gets angry, defends, attacks, etc. Ego affects all that a person is and does. The bigger the ego the bigger the affect. Unless one becomes aware of "ego", how it affects our present, and how to overcome it, ego will continue to overpower the self and the effects that you are feeling will continue also unless you learn to control ego.

There are a minimum of two ways to look at any situation. In this case those two ways are from ego and from not-ego.

When people disagree or say something "you" do  not like, ego gets inflated and bothered. It begins to overpower the self. If not checked it will act in all sorts of intolerable and problematic ways. Ego begins to build resentment, anger, schemes to get its own way.This is ego.

When people disagree; listen, question, make assertions about your own world view, seek to understand and look for resolve. This is not-ego (ego-less perspective). From the realm of not-ego all things begin to take on a more profound and less problematic state.

With jealousy, the battle lies in the ego. "How can you do that to ME" or "why can't you love ME more than anyone else", etc. It is the ego that gets jealous and causes the self, pain and suffering. It is the ego that binds the self in a downward spiral of emotion, resentment, anger turmoil. The self just wants to be happy but the ego prevents that from happening in many ways. The ego will put false thoughts in your head about a loved one cheating when in fact they are only talking to others.

The trick is to focus on reality as it is happening. Do not like or dislike anything for that is ego trying to take root. Do not judge or make inferences to any event that is happening for that too is ego trying to assert control. Do not cling to any event long passed, or anticipate any event to come. Just experience what is before you now. Let things happen and watch as the events unfold without any interference from the ego. The ego can not exist in an aware mind! If you have ego then your awareness is lacking.

You do not own others. They can come and go as they wish. You can not always agree with everyone and others have their right to differ without anguish from you. If these words smart, then ego is trying to take control of you. Wipe ego like you wipe dust form a mirror. Let the mind reflect clearly what is happening before you without permitting the dust of ego to settle upon your mind.

The battle lies within, defeat ego and you become the master of the self.

Dealing with Depression

All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts


Amper Sun


Depression, anxiety, self esteem, guilt, loss, grief, spiritual uncertainty!


Thirty years treating individual, families, at-risk-youth in counselling and psycho-therapy.


Master Practitioner of Counselling and Psychotherapy - M.P.C.P. designation.

©2017 All rights reserved.

[an error occurred while processing this directive]