Dealing with Depression/How do you know if thoughts are true?
Hi. I suffered from depression/anxiety/OCD since high school. Was denial but on medication, it helps a little bit, but I still have up and downs, wonder why I'm here, wonder what my future holds and I always feel "stuck" in life, just going around in circles, waiting for things to change. I do get thoughts like, "Oh at this rate I will never find better job", "I will never find a boyfriend", etc. etc. Are thoughts especially those kind just lying? How can I tell if they are false? I do fear the future, and I think anxiety and worrying is taking control as depression. I just feel I don't have control over my life.
In the process of existence, body and mind reside together within the present moment of reality, However, they often do not reside harmoniously together. While the body absolutely and flawlessly maintains this connection to the present moment of existent within reality (it can never leave this arrangement, ever), the mind continually subscribes to the erroneous belief that it can "wander" from this connection to the body and the present experience. The mind will deliberate on the experience and it either clings to the past or it anticipates the future. The mind forms thoughts. While the body continues to experience present events, the mind forms opinions of like or dislike, hot or cold, or any endless combination of dualistic opinions pertaining to the present experience. The mind forms these thoughts which carry awareness off into non-existent realms of fantasy and illusion. The mind begins to play, and the present experience is forsaken for this non-real world of thought content. The thoughts which the mind entertains within this process are not real. Thoughts are nothing more than fleeting electrical impulses within the brain. They come and go at blinding speed and have infinitesimal existence but the mind continues to hold them as still existing within the experience. This tendency of the mind to deliberate on present experience effectively causes disharmony between body and mind. The mind separates itself from the present experience at it dabbles in the non-existent reality it has created for itself to play within the thoughts it entertains.
These non-existent thoughts have a power to them that affect our physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual aspects within the present moment of existence. Although the thoughts themselves are not real the affects they have on our system are very much real. These thoughts permit aberrant processes to form and charge our present experience with negative or positive aspects. Depression. Elation. Sadness. Grandeur. These positive and negative effects manifest from the thoughts the mind entertains. Do not think that negative is bad and postive is good because either pulls the mind from the connection with the body thereby creating disharmony within the present experience of reality.
The epitome of existence is to experience reality without forming opinions, judgements, or biases based on the experience. Mind and body united as such within the experience of the present moment leaves no room for aberrant processes to form form the thought content the mind would otherwise entertain. Body and mind learn together from the experience without the distraction from the formation of thoughts. When someone throws a ball to you, the immediate response is to attempt to catch it. The result is based on the knowledge the body and mind has garnered and both respond harmoniously together. Individuals will have variant degrees of success with the task based on their harmonious knowledge. There is no thinking involved within this process of "sound and echo" response. When thinking becomes part of that process then difficulties arise and aberrant processes manifest within the scheme of things.
"I will never find a boyfriend." "Oh at this rate I will never find a better job." These thoughts interfere with the sound and echo response of performing the tasks of either meeting new people, looking at educational programs that will enable better job training, or from seeking new experiences that will enable better job opportunities. The affect these thoughts have are real and they manifest aberrant processes like doubt, sadness, hopelessness, low self esteem. You think, therefore you are!
Wipe the thoughts. See what is "real" before you. Do not judge any experience as good or bad or otherwise. Experience only! Let the mind flow with the body. Through the tendency of the body to be rooted in reality, let that knowledge permit the mind to find its way home to the present experience as mind and body become rooted in the present moment as one unit of the self. Do not permit the mind to play in non-existent realms of fantasy and illusion and you will have conquered aberrant processes. Tame the mind-beast and become the master and not the slave!