Dealing with Depression/fLack of energy, negative thoughts about myself
QUESTION: I'm 20, When i was younger i was sexually assaulted which triggered depression and i don't know if i ever got over it. i was offered counseling by the police but i just said 'no i'm fine' which was half the truth. that was 4/5 years ago now.
But what i find now is that i have the ideas of what i want in life but i don't have no energy to act upon it and it's annoying. i just came back from a really good holiday and i had gained confidence and happiness but coming back to real life and having to deal with certain things in - finding out i might not be able to continue my education or have to change courses because of money. i find myself losing everything my holiday gave me in the span of 3 days.
I also always talk myself down in my head i feel pathetic that i'm 20 and not in university, i feel worthless because i'm not doing what i would like to be doing inside of my head but in real life don't. I've had these sort of feelings for years now but i just put them aside and try to carry on. i went to my doctors about it saying i wanted to get a mental assessment and all he did was hand me a leaflet and directed me else where, but now i kinda feel it's hindering my progression in life. sometimes i just think i'm lazy and i'm just trying to find something to blame it on, I've been made to feel I'm lazy in the past.
I find it hard to laugh at things or be happy at things others expect me to be happy about. i might think happy but i don't feel it
Sorry in advance if this isn't the right place for this. I could probably go on about things but i think this gets the idea of what goes on with me
ANSWER: Dear Ollie; Counselling is definitely what I'd recommend for you. You are at an age of uncertainty, and to top it off, you have issues unresolved from your past that are in need of resolving.
About a year of counselling will do you a great deal of good at this junction.
Look around, ask around, find a reputable counsellor locally that doesn't charge an arm and a leg. Things will get better, but you must take action.
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: Thanks for the reply. I'm still concerned with my lack of energy, is you suggesting counselling say i do have depression? i'm also a bit of a hypercondriac, i constantly think i have potential illness like cancer, after having unprotected sex with a girl i thought she had given me aids. What will a councillor give me? is it someone i just talk to about my issues or will they look at the stuff in the back ground and why i act in certain because of something that happened. I'm from England so would counselling something that is offered for free?
A counsellor will be able to guide you on the course towards sorting out your issues, be there to listen to you when you need, and point you to the right resources.
I'm not sure about England, my hunch is there must be free/low cost counselling about- the best person to start asking is the adviser in school and your doctor.
Google is also a great resource to find something local. It can be as simple as typing in the search box: <name of your town> counselling cheap