Dealing with Depression/Am I depressed?

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Question
You see I have anxiety and major depression is my biggest fear. I'm afraid that I might become depressed to the point that I would commit suicide. At first I was afraid of body symptoms but after going to the doctor many times they told me it was just my anxiety, so I know longer fear those symptoms. What I fear now are my emotional symptoms, Fear of becoming depressed, going crazy, of unusual feelings and emotions, unusually frightening thoughts. I know it's my anxiety that's making feel like this, but there's always the ďwhat if?" what if it's depression? I don't think I'm depressed because I love my life, my family, myself, I look forward to many things in my life and there is no way in hell that I would ever hurt myself or others. Every time I think about hurting myself or others I get very anxious and panicky. Sometimes I start thinking "what if I get fed up with things in life?" When I have these thoughts I get very panicky because I'm afraid it might lead to depression if I ever get fed up with things I do in my life, I never get fed up with things in my life itís just the way I think because of my anxiety. I also get a little anxious when I'm bored because itís like there is nothing to look forward to or nothing to do, basically anything that I think of that can lead to depression I get anxious. I have taken many depression tests and they all say I have no depression. I was so afraid of the word depression that I tried to avoid it because it just made me anxious. I couldn't read or hear about anything that was related to depression because I would start to feel panicky. When I heard about Robin Williams my anxiety was really bad. My Questions are, am I depressed? Or could I become depressed from fearing it? is it normal to fear depression? I heard from people that have anxiety that your greatest fear never comes true. Is that true?

Answer
You are not depressed...but anyone, and I do mean anyone, can become depressed given the right...triggers...
Don't fear it, just read up on it and learn to recognize it...
Depression is not the end of the line, it is a process that many people can walk out of.
Embrace what you're afraid of, learn about it all you can, and stop the fear, that will automatically prevent depression.

Dealing with Depression

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Johnny St. Tai

Expertise

It is okay to feel down and out once every so often, as long as you know to reach out for the hands that will pull you back up. I can answer questions about self esteem improvement, relationship with others, depression, and sexuality. I will/cannot give medical advice without an actual examination of the person and his/her medical history, so for those issues, best to find a local specialist/doctor to be safe.

Experience

Ten years of professional and volunteer counseling, and volunteering for the Crisis Center. Born of a conflict-laiden family, I've walked through violance, addiction, abuse, and more. I survived, scarred but still strong, and I will do my best to help others do the same.

Organizations
Richmond Chimo Crisis Center

Education/Credentials
Interpersonal/Social Relation Specialist, University of British Colombia Socialwork, 2005.

Past/Present Clients
over 500.

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