Dealing with Depression/hi!


QUESTION: Hellow Maam/Sir!

I am finding it hard to control my anger. two granny r at my home . nd one is scared to sleep. She don't sleep unless someone is sleeping in same room with her, Also she ask tooo many question. She ask one question almost ten times a day. even if she know the answer. I am finding it hard to control my anger and i am afraid i may end up disrespecting her.She has already  lost respect in my eyes ... i hate to say this but it's true.My questions r...

Q1) How to control anger when my granny is asking same question again nd again due to with i can't concentrate on laptop.
Q2) How to make granny feel secure ...

she z creating so much trouble for everyone that everyone consider her a huger burden...

Mahreen Junaid

ANSWER:  Dear Mahreen,

Sorry to hear your grandma is causing problems for everyone.  It sounds like she may have dementia because she is asking the same questions all the time.

Here are some things you may do that might help:

Write down the answer to her question and hand her the piece of paper with the answer on it.

Give her small chores to do like folding towels, socks, etc

Is their a day-care center for elders suffering with dementia or Alzheimer disease?

If their are social workers in your country who work at hospital, call them and see if they have resources for you to hep you take care of you grandmother and how to keep your grandmother busy with other things.

Does she know how to do hand crafts?  Knitting, some type of hand sewing?

Take her to the doctor's to see if she does have dementia or ALzheimers?   

See if their is help in the community for you.

For you, you may want to see the doctor to see if you may need something to keep you calm.  Or look up some holistic medicine such as 5htp or St. John's Wort?

You are in a difficult situation and I hope some of my ideas may help you.

Dr. Patricia Schafer

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: thankx for ur answer . i have an other granny too . She poops in her pajama some times and if for some reason like in case that washroom is being washed we recommend her servant washroom she don't sit on flush properly and then she turn around nd her clothes nd shoes get dirty. not just that she put her hands in poop and push it into flush then her hands are all dirty she touch her clothes to pull pajama up.with same hands she then open sink tap and poops is there too. She don't wash hands properly and the door z also dirty.When we are around we go to toilet with her but when we r not she don't call us even if someone is in the next room.If mom put diaper on her even for night she remove it. Cox she hate diapers.When she is sitting her one finger is usually in nose and often it results in bleeding of nose.she has some facial hair which r a bit hard now we remove them but she keep on pulling chin as if she is continuously removing hair.this way her chin is also usually injured. She know mom get's angry by all these things. She prefer to tel other people that she wants to go to toilet then us. She z still good at complaining things to my father.( She is 100yr old and my father's mother.) other granny is my mother's mother.My mom z one who washes her clothes and give her bath. But my mom is short tempered.And she have alwayx been like this. So when mom have to give granny bath three times in a row she gets angry and beat granny. Is there any solution to it.
Note ; my this granny don't have loose motion problem she may have constipation some times but not loose motion.

Dear Mahreen,

Your mother is doing a lot of work that is physically and mentally stressful and that can
cause her to feel angry and yell.

Can your family afford to hire a caretaker for your dad's mother a few days a week so your mom can have time off and also give other members in the family time off?

Your mom should not be beating a 100 year old woman.  Do you have social workers at hospitals that can find help for your mom and also to keep your grandma away from the beatings.  In our country we call that "Elder abuse" and one can go to jail for beating helpless people.

Does your country have homes to put the elderly in where they are taken care of?  Where they have good care?
Start to research help for the elderly in your community and check with people (like social workers; nurses, doctors) who may know where there is help.

Hope these ideas help you.

Dr. Pat Schafer  

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Patricia A. Schafer, Ph.D.


I received my Ph.D. from Kent State,in Ohio in Counseling.I specialize in various forms of depression and Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) and forms of addictions such as substance abuse,eating disorders and gambling. My licenses are: Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor -Supervisor(LPCC-S) and Licensed Professional Chemical Dependency Counselor (LICDC) My experience includes counseling substance abusers, families of alcoholics/drug addictions, and codependency issues. I also specialize in social phobia; stress; anxieties; women`s issues; grief and adjustments to life changes. Some therapeutic techniques used are: CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), DBT (Dialectical Behaviorial Therapy)REBT (Rational Emotive), SFT (Solution Focused) and 12-Step, etc. If you live in the Cleveland area, you can contact me at my office for an appointment at: 440-349-4521. I accept insurance and EAP programs.


Twelve years experience as a professional clinical counselor; 30 years member of Al-Anon.


Experiences of prejudice among individuals in African American and Caucasian Interracial Marriages: A Q-methodological Study (Doctoral Dissertation - December 2008; Wilsnack and Beckman's book: Alcohol Problems in Women (1984). Alcohol use and marital violence: Female and Male Differences in reactions to alcohol(pages 260-279.

Ph.D. in Counseling - Kent State MS in Counseling - John Carroll University BS in Psychology - University of Pittsburgh

Awards and Honors
Previous president of NCOCA (North Central Ohio Counseling Association); previous president of Chi Sigma Iota. Two years VISTA volunteer on Navajo reservation in Inscription House and Shonto.

Past/Present Clients

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