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Dealing with Depression/New feelings and losing myself


A few months back I decided to get dating again. After meeting a few women who I had nothing in common with I finally met someone great. We had only been dating for 3 weeks when her father passed away. She had to take a leave of absence from work to go back home and deal with her dad's business, house, belongings, and everything else that comes with a death. Her dad's lawyer is expecting her to be gone around 3 months as there is no other family to help.

She left 3 weeks ago. We were still "dating" at the time she left. I really like her, but I feel like I hardly got to know her. I can say I miss her, but even though we spent a lot of time together in 3 weeks, I think we were still in that first stage of being with someone where all you want is to be with them. We are communicating sporadically as her cell phone was through her dad's company and is now shut off. We email 2 or 3 times a week. That's the highlight of my week. I like hearing from her.

This past week I have felt incredibly down. My best friend says it's because I'm in love, but I wouldn't call it love. Can you be short term depressed? Can someone leaving your life as suddenly as they come in cause you to feel like this? The days have been going by slowly, and I've lost interest in doing things I enjoyed. I feel tired all the time even if I sleep for 8+ hours a night. I'm eating everything in sight even if I'm not hungry. I know I should be finding new things to do to keep my mind busy, but I have no interest in doing much of anything. I go to work, I go home, I don't even care to chat with my friends much anymore.

I really don't know how to climb out of this rut. Any help would be great. Thank you.

It's a minor depression brought on by missing a person and also, the need to see the day when that person returns. Some people even experience this when they order something on the internet and then during the days they wait for item to be shipped, they'll go through a lesser form of this.
A day can feel like a month, and you get the feeling that maybe if you sleep, then the next day will get here sooner and time will pass faster.
You are the only person who can get your self out of this cycle by breaking the routine.
You need to start a project of some sort that requires you to spend lots of time thinking/planning/managing something.
This is a good time to go on a trip, preferably with a tour group or with friends who will force you to stay active.
Down-time is your worst enemy right now.

Dealing with Depression

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Johnny St. Tai


It is okay to feel down and out once every so often, as long as you know to reach out for the hands that will pull you back up. I can answer questions about self esteem improvement, relationship with others, depression, and sexuality. I will/cannot give medical advice without an actual examination of the person and his/her medical history, so for those issues, best to find a local specialist/doctor to be safe.


Ten years of professional and volunteer counseling, and volunteering for the Crisis Center. Born of a conflict-laiden family, I've walked through violance, addiction, abuse, and more. I survived, scarred but still strong, and I will do my best to help others do the same.

Richmond Chimo Crisis Center

Interpersonal/Social Relation Specialist, University of British Colombia Socialwork, 2005.

Past/Present Clients
over 500.

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