Dealing with Depression/Regret of incest
Hello,I am really in grief and getting depressed by thinking this.
Before two years my life was not going good ,I was living in terrible conditions and also I wasn't mature and sensible enough to distinguish between right and wrong.My life was really messed up and I don't exactly remember why I did it but I think that was mostly due to excessive porn addiction and curiosity plus reading incest stories.
One day I went to my uncles house to meet him and my cousin sister.I don't remember why but I went to another room and called my sister to have some chit chat.But after some minutes suddenly I told her that I want to kiss her (to mention that we were of same age)to which she normally said "OK,but on the cheeks" and I was shocked that she didn't even mind it and acted normal and then I got more guts and told her that no,I want to kiss her on her lips to which she first said no but then agreed and then we kissed.
But after that I was lost and ashamed on what I did and also told her that do not tell this to anyone otherwise there will be a big trouble upon us on which she agreed and time passed and I stopped talking with her just so that this topic doesn't arises.
But now I don't know why but the thing that is haunting me from past few months is that what if she tells this incident to someone ,then what I will do and also I don't want to raise this topic again after so much of time has passed because I fear that she would get more guts and will try to blackmail me in someway.
I don't know what should I do?It's high time I want to study but every day it's coming to me even though I don't want to remember.I had got over the feeling of this incident and even had moved on thinking that she would not tell it because she was also involved in this.Please help me because I want to concentrate on my present and that feeling disgusts me and it's painful.
It is a pity you did state your age. But since you mentioned that yon want to study, I guess you would be a teenager or young adult. The reality is that sexual escapades among children is fairly common. The fact that this is bothering you now may be due to some sort of obsession. Compulsive thinking may be due to excess production of stress hormones due to an inner metabolic abnormally. The most common illness that could bring this about if hypoglycemia ( http://www.hypoglycemia.asn.au/2011/what-is-hypoglycemia/
This can be treated by going on a hypoglycemic diet (http://www.hypoglycemia.asn.au/2011/the-hypoglycemic-diet/
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) and Nutrition
If you have any further worries discuss this with your doctor.
Jurriaan Plesman BA (Psych) Post Grad Dip Clin Nutrition
Editor of the Hypoglycemic Association of Australia
Also at Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/groups/183150461841144/