Dealing with Depression/please help


Hi Patricia
I am at my wits end with my husband and his mental health behaviour. I have severe anxiety and I'm finding I can't cope with how he's treating me.I am also expierencing delibilating symptoms with rage,crying and hopelessness with the menopause and a thyroid illness. I just want to run away and I feel I hate my husband so much that I don't want to be married anymore as he has been rather nasty with me as if everything is my fault with the things going on with me. One minute he is ignorant with me then he just sits around staring into space and walks around like a zombie. He gives me dirty looks if I am in his way or he dosent want to do anything for me. He ignores me in bed and I've told him over and over how it hurts me. I have letters from different Drs regards my anxiety and agoraphobia but he still provokes me. He believes nothing is wrong with him and won't see a Dr so I just don't know how to cope anymore I just don't want the responsibility s. Please help. What could he have. Thank you in advance.

Hi Louise,

Some of the symptoms you gave me regarding your husband may be signs of depression and very bad negative thinking.  He does need to see  a Psychiatrist for an exact diagnosis.  He may need to be on medication, but sounds like he may not want help since he blames you for everything. He may have a bit of paranoa thinking believing everything is all your fault.

Does he drink? If so, that is another big issue.Then you will need to get to Al-Anon - they can help you a lot.  Also, see a therapist for yourself. Especially a therapist that works with families of alcoholics.

Your home atmosphere is not good for you.  Are you getting your physical conditions taken care of (meds, seeing a good doctor, etc.)?  

I suggest you see a therapist (counselor or psychologist) to help you decide what to do about your marriage. It is hurting your peace of mind and can possibly make your anxiety worse and j
also physical symptoms worse.

Hope my suggestions help you.

Take care,

Dr. Pat

Dealing with Depression

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Patricia A. Schafer, Ph.D.


I received my Ph.D. from Kent State,in Ohio in Counseling.I specialize in various forms of depression and Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) and forms of addictions such as substance abuse,eating disorders and gambling. My licenses are: Licensed Professional Clinical Counselor -Supervisor(LPCC-S) and Licensed Professional Chemical Dependency Counselor (LICDC) My experience includes counseling substance abusers, families of alcoholics/drug addictions, and codependency issues. I also specialize in social phobia; stress; anxieties; women`s issues; grief and adjustments to life changes. Some therapeutic techniques used are: CBT (Cognitive Behavioral Therapy), DBT (Dialectical Behaviorial Therapy)REBT (Rational Emotive), SFT (Solution Focused) and 12-Step, etc. If you live in the Cleveland area, you can contact me at my office for an appointment at: 440-349-4521. I accept insurance and EAP programs.


Twelve years experience as a professional clinical counselor; 30 years member of Al-Anon.


Experiences of prejudice among individuals in African American and Caucasian Interracial Marriages: A Q-methodological Study (Doctoral Dissertation - December 2008; Wilsnack and Beckman's book: Alcohol Problems in Women (1984). Alcohol use and marital violence: Female and Male Differences in reactions to alcohol(pages 260-279.

Ph.D. in Counseling - Kent State MS in Counseling - John Carroll University BS in Psychology - University of Pittsburgh

Awards and Honors
Previous president of NCOCA (North Central Ohio Counseling Association); previous president of Chi Sigma Iota. Two years VISTA volunteer on Navajo reservation in Inscription House and Shonto.

Past/Present Clients

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