Dealing with Depression/I might be suffering from depression
You can call me Dee. I'm 23 years old and I think I might be suffering from depression. I have been feeling down most of the time for the past several years. A year ago (June 29, 2015 to be exact), I took a test on PsychologyToday and the result said I responded in a way that indicated severe depression symptoms. Yesterday I got a copy of the BDI test online (http://www.hr.ucdavis.edu/asap/pdf_files/Beck_Depression_Inventory.pdf
). I'm not sure if it's the legitimate BDI, but I took it anyway and I scored 51.
Several days ago we had a quiz in class and only scored 1 out of 25. I felt extremely devastated because I studied hard for that class. I felt so devastated that I had to skip my next class and go somewhere private to cry. I cried for at least an hour. Then I realized it was the first day of my period, and a month ago during my first day of menstruation I also cried nonstop. I also remember in some of the previous months I cried so hard or felt extremely sad and realized it was the first day of my period. I googled and read about Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder, but my symptoms are usually the worst during the first day. Also, my period ended 3 days ago and I still feel really down.
There are very few moments that I think I can do it and just "get over it", but most of the time I don't think I can. During those moments, if I had with me a pill that could kill me in an instant I would take it without second thoughts.
I want to seek help but I can't really afford to go to go to a psychologist, and I don't want my parents to know because I don't want to add more burden to them. Also, I'm still not sure if I really have depression. Maybe I'm just overreacting or acting out. I would probably ask help from my Psychology professors (I'm in my first year studying AB Psychology) after I'm 110% sure I have depression.
If there's any advice you could give, I'd appreciate it so much. Or maybe are there legitimate depression tests you know (that are free) and that I can take to be sure?
Thank you for taking the time to read this.
Hello Dee; You have the right idea, definitely talk to your psyc profs about the situation and they will be able to refer you to the right materials and people. From what little you tell me, I would suspect some kind of hormonal balance issue that can be fixed easily with some adjustments- though, not knowing more of your home and social situations, it is hard to say with any degree of certainty.
Don't trust the tests, especially the ones you find online- self diagnosing is both unproductive and can be more dangerous than people think.
I would also urge you to speak with your family doctor and see if tests can be performed to find out if there's any chemical/hormonal problems going on.