AboutPatricia A. Schafer, PCC-S, NCC, LICDC Expertise I am a Licensed Professional Clinical
Counselor in Cleveland, Ohio and a National Certified Counselor. I am presently working on my PhD at Kent State. I specialize in Seasonal Affective Disorder, and other depression problems. Also, I counsel families of alcoholics/drug addictions; social phobia; stress; anxieties; women`s issues and a variety of other issues. If I can help, let me know. Thank you.
Question I have tried to sort things out. Tried to understand why I feel the way I do. I am constantly thinking about suicide, planning on how to do it, when to do it. I cant focus on anything except death. I feel a horrible need to die. I decided that if I start to drink and take pills I wont realize how much I am actually ingesting. I have a package of razor blades and my dirk. If I a pretty much pain free at some point I can cut. It wont be so bad. I think I will just drift off to sleep. That would be a horrid mess for someone to find. There is always the bridge, a mile high, a mile long. I might not even be found doing it that way. I am so lost. I cant think straight anymore. Why do I think of nothing else but death? What is wrong with me?
Answer Hi Lorrie: Your depression is very, very deep. YOu are in a lot of emotional pain, as you already know.
Please call a suicide hotline number, or call 411 and ask what the suicide hotline number is for your area and just read to them what you wrote to me so you can get some help.
Don't stay alone in this, that only makes you more depressed. Being alone and depressed is not good, especially since you are already planning on how to do it.
You are thinking of nothing else but death because you do not see any other options when there are options out there. At this point you need to be told what those options are to give you hope. People who work the suicide hot line numbers are experience in this and can help you through this. You may need to be in the hospital for a while to become emotionally calm and start to feel hopeful instead of depressed. There is hope, it is just that it is hard to believe that when you are depressed.
