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About Joe D. Buys
Expertise
I can answer questions dealing with leadership development, cross-functional team development, conflict resolution, absenteeism management, workplace violence, sexual harassment, diversity in the workplace, supervisor and management training and conducting employee and customer opinion surveys. I can also answer questions dealing with Lean Manufacturing and Administrative Lean for the Office.

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Past/Present clients
General Motors, Ford Motor Company, Chrysler, Dow Chemical, Valasic Foods, Lear Corporation, United States Postal Service

You are here: Experts > Business > Management > Dealing with Employees > Talking with a boss who brags and embelishes

Dealing with Employees - Talking with a boss who brags and embelishes

Expert: Joe D. Buys - 11/4/2009

Question
QUESTION: My situation is a little difficult because I am dealing with someone who is the owner of a business. Although he is my boss, we have more of a partnership type of relationship because we were friends before I came to work here. I have a lot of input in the business and have been able to incorporate several ideas that have been beneficial. This individual is very good at what he does and has been successful in the 8 years he's been in the financial consulting business. Recently, we have had the opportunity to work with pro athletes which is obviously a situation with great potential. We have already taken a few of them as clients but I am at a crossroads. I was contacted by one who pointed out that he noticed my boss brags too much and often brings attention to himself around others. He is quick to talk about how much money he has and will tell everyone and anyone around how good he is at what he does. It seems as though no matter where he is, he is talking business and doesn’t know how to talk about anything else. He has always been this way but it seems to be getting worse and I am afraid that it will cost us clients in the end. On the flip side, he really is a big hearted guy who gives a lot of his money to charity and truly cares about what happens to his clients. This situation has began to bother me so much that I often find myself getting short with him in order to avoid the "BS" if you know what I mean. I am to the point that I feel like I need to talk with him about this and I just don't know how to bring it up. We've touched on it before but I really didn't make my point. I love my job but am at the point to where I just can't stand the bragging and embellishments any longer. I feel I owe it to him to say something for the sake of business as well as because he is my friend. How should I handle the conversation? Thanks in advance!

ANSWER: Dear Allen,

Most people can accept constructive criticism if it's presented in the right way. I would start out the conversation by setting the stage. Tell him you want to talk to him about something that you find difficult to talk to him about and that you're sure he will find difficult hearing. Start out by saying "There are times (not all the time) when you irritate people, including clients, with your bragging and embellishments on the truth." Go on to tell him that clients have mentioned this to you and you are telling him this because you want him to succeed. Tell him that truly successful people don't brag or try to make themselves seem important. They let their actions speak for themselves. And, they don't like those qualities in people they do business with. It makes them distrustfully of the people doing the bragging. In effect, it has the opposite effect on them then he is intending. Tell him you're telling him because he is your friend and friends are honest with each other. Be sincere and truthful.

Good Luck
Joe D. Buys
Partner
Crystal Clear Concepts
www.ccconcepts.com

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Thank you again for your initial response, perfect! My only question now is how would you address this with the clients, especially the athlete? Obviously, this is a touchy situation and I want to be as cautious as possible in the message I am trying to get accross. In other words, I want to be professional by showing some kind of support for my friend/boss but not to the point where I am acting as if this wasn't a problem. Thank you again!

Answer
Dear Allen,

I think you can do both. Say something like... "I realize ___ can be a bit over bearing at times. He is aware of how he is perceived sometimes and is trying to change. However, he possesses (define the strengths he brings to the business) that make him one of the best at what he does. After all, that's what you're most interested in. How well he handles your money. or something to that effect. Always remember that no matter how much someone criticizes your partner, they expect you to be professional and supportive. If you agree too much with the criticism it would indicate a division in your business relationship with your partner, which could undermine your company in their eyes.

Good Luck
Joe Buys
Partner
Crystal Clear Concepts, Inc.
www.ccconcepts.com

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