About Sylvia Bergthold Expertise I can answer questions dealing with roommate situations including compatability, leases, placing roommate wanted ads, what you have to offer to a roommate, sharing of utilities and other services, interviewing techniques and questions, some legal aspects of housesharing, clearance information, etc.
Experience I have had roommates in my home for over 32 years and am the author of:
"SORRY, THE BOA HAS GOTTA GO!" A Roommate Survival Guide
Publications The Los Angeles Times, The HB-FV Independent, The Arizona Tribune, Lansing Michigan Rental Guide, Roommate Locator Newsletter, The Plain Dealer,, Las Vegas Sun, Apartment Lifestyles Magazine, Instyle Magazine, The Whiz.com, Cosmopolitan, Under 25, The Portsmouth Herald
I started searching some on google and found this site when I was trying to get some advice on what I should do...am in a difficult situation. My what was best-friend and I signed a lease (we'll call her Tina) this past September...was a very spontanious thing and I should never have done it haha. The day before we moved in I should have cancelled it right then---she actually got into a shouting match at the leasing agent. We live in Florida and we moved in right after this Tropical Storm hit (everyone freaked and thought it was a Hurricane)...so everyone shut down and they didn't have our apartment ready the day before and told us that we couldn't move in until noon on the first. She flipped out (has some anger problems)...so now the leasing office only talks to me regarding things related to the apartment. We ended up getting in the apartment the next morning after I negotiated with them.
When we moved in, she had class in the morning down at the college so she couldn't meet us over there at 9am. Her mother, my father, my friends and I moved nearly everything into the apartment by the time she got back---which I think she did intentionally because she had to run some other "errands" before she got back.
The electric and DSL/phone bill are both in my name...we got into an argument about me wanting to cancel the DSL because I don't use it (neither does she) and she flipped out. We also had another problem because she invited her boyfriend to live with us without asking me (had a conversation with me telling me that she invited him already without once asking) and then told me that if he moved in, he would be paying half of her half of the rent which angered me somewhat. When we got our DSL bill, there were some installment charges on there which she said that she was going to refuse to pay because "it was not mentioned to her" (which it was).
She got "sick" for a month and a half (Doctor's said that nothing was wrong with her) and stopped going to school and work (which was down at the school). She always seemed to get better when the weekends came, and then every Sunday night she was feeling "crappy". Generally, what she did was lie around, watch movies and smoke the MJ. She then medically withdrew from school (which still isn't official)---when she did that, she lost her job at the school. She just got a job at a pool hall, which she's having a hard time showing up to. (She had a hard time showing up to the job at the school as well). We've stopped talking as much lately...
I'm getting somewhat nervous that she might bail on me...her boyfriend declined her invitation. One of our good friends slipped out a "You're not moving in with Jamie anymore?" when we were all sitting around talking...
Everyone keeps telling me to either break the lease or find someone to sublease the apartment for me...I'm not really sure what to do because I'm not sure how breaking a lease will affect my credit (I rent with Gables, a large leasing company). Part of me just wants to stick it out, not let her problems bother me, and just hope everything works out for the best...my concern though is she's not going to have any money and will need a loan from me, which I can't really give right now (nor do I want to give). Any advice?
Answer Hi Keri
I hate to break the bad news to you but you have more than one problem here, in fact you have several.
The major one is you live in Florida. They play by different housing rules in Florida, in fact I am questioning if they have ANY rules in Florida.
The second problem (which you now are fully aware of) is you moved in with a friend, soon to be an ex-friend.
The third problem is "Tina" is a leech. Yes, she is because she will NOT be able to pay you the rent and will use every excuse and sob story to make you pay her share. She will make you feel guilty for not "helping" her.
The fourth problem is she is also has a mental problem. Maybe she is bi-polar or suffers a type of depression, which would account for her being unable to control her temper. But this should NOT be your problem.
Fifth problem comes back to the first problem. You are going to have to talk to the leasing office, about this whole sorry mess. Ask what your options are. But you NEED to do something ASAP.
You also need to talk to the Fair Housing Council in your city (usually part of city hall). Explain the situation, take a copy of the lease agreement with you and pray alot. From all the stories I have heard from Florida, it is not too encouraging. But hey, maybe you will get a person that actually can help you. You need to get yourself OUT of this situation fast before it escalates into something worse.
The problem Keri is that Florida housing laws (or no laws) don't allow subletting, breaking a lease, replacing someone on a lease, or many other options that are available everywhere else. Hopefully they are in the process of changing all of that.
Maybe your parents could help you with the leasing office. I am sure there has got to be a way around this mess.
If the leasing office would allow it, I would ask them if you can REPLACE Tina on the lease. Or sublet to another person (making sure this new person is run through their credit agency).
And I would suggest strongly that you purchase my Roommate Survival Guide BEFORE you get another roommate. You need to understand that moving in with friends (or relatives) very rarely works out. You also need to know how to write up a roommate agreement among other things. It also has a list of rules as part of the agreement (such as no overnight guests, no pets, no smoking, etc.).
I am sorry I couldn't be more upbeat about your situation but if you have been reading any of the postings to this column, you realize you are not alone here. The unfortunate part is we are dealing with Florida. Write me to let me know what happened.
