About Sylvia Bergthold Expertise I can answer questions dealing with roommate situations including compatability, leases, placing roommate wanted ads, what you have to offer to a roommate, sharing of utilities and other services, interviewing techniques and questions, some legal aspects of housesharing, clearance information, etc.
Experience I have had roommates in my home for over 32 years and am the author of:
"SORRY, THE BOA HAS GOTTA GO!" A Roommate Survival Guide
Publications The Los Angeles Times, The HB-FV Independent, The Arizona Tribune, Lansing Michigan Rental Guide, Roommate Locator Newsletter, The Plain Dealer,, Las Vegas Sun, Apartment Lifestyles Magazine, Instyle Magazine, The Whiz.com, Cosmopolitan, Under 25, The Portsmouth Herald
Question About a year ago i had an old friend stop by to say hi since he worked near my house, after hearing his living situation i asked him if he wanted to move in with me free of charge which he accepted. Now its about a year later and i'm going down hill financially and have asked him to helped help out with stuff like groceries, utility, and the likes. I'll i've ever gotten is 100 for groceries one time awhile back
Another thing that bothers me is he hasnt cooked one meal since being here and hasnt picked up after himself not once unless asked too. I gave him obligations after about a year as to what his responsibilities are but he hasnt taken them up. I'm really at a loss as to how to confront him on the situation without resorting to passive aggressive behavior.
This really isnt the whole story, that would be a book. Point me in the right direction.
Answer Hi Nick
Can you NOW understand why my number one in my book is NEVER roommate with friends (and relatives)?
Nick, you have lost complete control of your living arrangement (and your life).... you allowed all of this to happen.
Your leech of a roommate (let's call him Sam) is a loser in life. He might be a friend (who needs enemies with a friend like this), but that does not change the fact that he cannot get his act together to even pay NORMAL living expenses.
You allowed this by letting him live with you FREE OF CHARGE....and for a YEAR??!!! Get real here Nick..... nobody gets a free ride in society. NOBODY should get ANYTHING free. We need to work for a living and pay our way. Sam has done none of these things.
The world is made up of givers and takers. You are a giver and Sam is a major taker. You need to start using common sense when being a giving person. And running yourself financially into a hole is NOT being a giving person, it is just being DUMB. Sorry to be so blunt here but you need to wake up.
You will issue Sam a WRITTEN 30 day notice to leave. If you have to get into a passive aggressive mode to do it, so be it. Do NOT allow him to make you feel guilty for "evicting" him.... yes, I can guarantee he will play on your sympathies and lay a major guilt trip on you. IGNORE HIM.
If he gets nasty, you should do the shunning bit until he leaves. You will not acknowledge his presence in the room, will not talk to him, answer his questions, feed him, pay for any of his expenses, etc. He is persona non grata (which he should have been after two months of not paying you anything).
If you think he is going to be a major problem as far as leaving, you might want to consult with an eviction service and have them do everything for you. Under no circumstances should he be still with you by the end of February.
I am NOT going to go into ALL the mistakes you made here Nick because quite frankly they are tooooooo numerous to mention on just one page. If you are serious about sharing your home with someone, I suggest strongly you purchase my Roommate Survival Guide before you do this again. It is a step by step guide in how to find someone responsible and compatible with your life style. You never want to repeat this scenario again.
Good Luck
Sincerely
Sylvia Bergthold
www.aroommatesurvivalguide.com
