About Sylvia Bergthold Expertise I can answer questions dealing with roommate situations including compatability, leases, placing roommate wanted ads, what you have to offer to a roommate, sharing of utilities and other services, interviewing techniques and questions, some legal aspects of housesharing, clearance information, etc.
Experience I have had roommates in my home for over 32 years and am the author of:
"SORRY, THE BOA HAS GOTTA GO!" A Roommate Survival Guide
Publications The Los Angeles Times, The HB-FV Independent, The Arizona Tribune, Lansing Michigan Rental Guide, Roommate Locator Newsletter, The Plain Dealer,, Las Vegas Sun, Apartment Lifestyles Magazine, Instyle Magazine, The Whiz.com, Cosmopolitan, Under 25, The Portsmouth Herald
I'm having a problem with a roommate that has been in my home for only a few months, yet feels like she runs the place. I've lived there almost 2 years and am getting fed up of being nagged every single day because I don't have the same obsessive compulsive needs that she does. I don't need my house to look like a Crate and Barrel ad 24/7, so she's constantly leaving me notes about being responsible, even though it's sometimes over a single glass in the sink or a piece of paper in the living room.
What's really killing me is the hypocrisy, she has left her broken bike in the living room for over 2 months, had a friend live in the house for a whole month without expecting any utility payments (which i never would have agreed to), comes home drunk and loud every single night, has total strangers (friends of friends of friends) stay at the house at least once a week without any notice, has removed property of mine from the common area and thrown it on the back porch and has on several occasions left me with an entire sink full of dirty dishes before leaving for the weekend.
The apartment has never become unlivable by any measure, she has kept me up so many nights while I have to be at work very early every day, and yet I get an extremely nasty note because one single plate was left in the living room, and a bill she handed me 3 days ago was "14 days late".
What can I do about this? I had no part in her selection process, my roommate placed her there when he left because and only because she was his favorite waitress at a restaurant he liked. I've already told her that this place is my home and I'm not changing a thing for her, that she's welcome to complain to the landlord but she's far more obtrusive to my lifestyle than i am to hers, and the landlord gave me authority in the apartment months ago.
I don't want to be nagged every day, or recieve childish notes anymore. I've tried to be as nice as possible, but I don't want to feel like a child in my own home anymore. Any ideas?
Thanks!
K
Answer Hi Kate
You have lost control of the WHOLE situation. The first time you lost it was when your ex-roommate "placed her there" without your approval. The second time was NOT writing up any type of agreement. Now you hightail yourself down to the landlords office and ask him how you can get this person out of your apartment and out of your life.
You did not say anything in your letter about the lease. Is it in writing? Is she also on it? Has she signed any documents with the landlord? Is your Ex-roommate STILL on the lease (if he ever was)?
She needs to be given a WRITTEN 30 day notice to vacate. Ask the landlord to help you with it and use his eviction service to do it. You will pay the fee. I have a sinking feeling she will NOT go quietly without this type of eviction notice.
And I certainly would NEVER have allowed so many guests, or a bike in my living room or cleaned up her dishes. My rule here is that if you leave stuff out (especially dirty dishes), they will end up on your BED...dirty and greasy but on your bed.
The second thing you should do after talking to the landlord is go to my website and buy my book. It will show you step by step in how to get the appropriate roommate for you, not use someone else to pick one for you. It has everything you need, from lease agreements to rules to questions to ask ALL prospective roommates.
Now get down to the landlords ASAP. And start taking charge of your life again.
