About Sylvia Bergthold Expertise I can answer questions dealing with roommate situations including compatability, leases, placing roommate wanted ads, what you have to offer to a roommate, sharing of utilities and other services, interviewing techniques and questions, some legal aspects of housesharing, clearance information, etc.
Experience I have had roommates in my home for over 32 years and am the author of:
"SORRY, THE BOA HAS GOTTA GO!" A Roommate Survival Guide
Publications The Los Angeles Times, The HB-FV Independent, The Arizona Tribune, Lansing Michigan Rental Guide, Roommate Locator Newsletter, The Plain Dealer,, Las Vegas Sun, Apartment Lifestyles Magazine, Instyle Magazine, The Whiz.com, Cosmopolitan, Under 25, The Portsmouth Herald
Question My daughter lives with a friend who is not on the lease. She is the only name on the lease. She is 21 and the roomate is 18. He has brought underage drinkers to this house and has had stuff taken from the house. She wants him out. He is extremely dramatic and she anticipate huge chaos to get him out. But he is going to get her arrested if he continues and even if he doesnt, she wants him out.Can she tell him and then change the locks and arrange him getting his stuff? If she tells him and gives him 30 days he will do all kinds of stuff and take things or create complete havoc. Any suggestions.
Answer Hi Calette
She needs to photograph everything in the place from furniture, electrical and cable outlets, windows, carpets, walls, and other stuff. She needs a before and after look of the place....before she tells him and after she tells him. She can take him (or his parents) to court and sue for damages. Of course collecting a court ordered judgement is something else entirely but hopefully it won't come down to that.
Also if he becomes threatening, she should carry a small tape recorder with her at all times when he is around. And also carry a can of pepperspray and learn how to use it. She might be 21 but she is in need of an adult to supervise this whole mess. Can you find a big burly guy friend to stay with her until this guy is gone? Or just an ordinary ADULT to watch over things.... if she tries to get him out illegally, he will turn around and sue HER and win.
And no Calette, she CANNOT change out the locks if he is still there. It is against the law, PERIOD! He will have to be given a WRITTEN 30 day notice to vacate. Preferably by the landlord, by her if necessary or issued by a professional eviction service (which is the way I would go) because of his dramatics.
She needs to remove everything of value in the place and lock it up somewhere, or give it to you for safekeeping. She needs to go to the landlord and explain the ENTIRE situation to him, especially about him damaging the place and the part about the illegal activities taking place in the apartment. And the next time there is any illegal activity, she needs to personally go down to the landlord and have him call the police for her while she is there.
And you KNOW her first mistake was allowing him to move in her place. He is/was a friend. That is the FIRST rule in my book...NEVER move in with friends or relatives.
If she continues to have roommates, buy her my book and have her do it the correct way. She made so many mistakes here it would require another page just to write them out. And she will repeat this scenario many times. With the help of my book, this one was enough.
Good Luck
Sincerely
Sylvia Bergthold
www.aroommatesurvivalguide.com
