AboutJames Middleton Expertise I am happy answering questions about handling stress and panic attacks, overwork and similar problems.
Experience I am a practicing hypnotherapist of 18 years experience and a qualified Occupational Therapist in community mental health.
Organizations belong to Council for Professions Supplementary to Medicine, Member of the National Register of Advanced Hypnotherapists, Full member of ANLP.
Publications UK Journal of Association for Neurolinguistic Processing.
Education/Credentials Dip Cot, Certificate in Hypnotherapy and Psychotherapy, Certificate in Co-counselling, Reiki 1, Reiki 2, and Reiki Masters. Practitioner of NLP
Awards and Honors WARP Freefall Coach for the British Parachute Association.
Expert: James Middleton Date: 5/9/2008 Subject: Anxiety problems, depression, sexual issues, paranoia
Question QUESTION: Hi i have suffered with depression,anxiety,paranoia since i turned 17.
I had my first panic attack when i was 17 and since then I've struggled with depression,anxiety,paranoia
I don't suffer palpitations i would have 5 or 6 palpitations everyday i suffered palpitations for 1 year when i turned 18 they eased off.
I have an issue that i use to have when i was 18 with a ex girl friend, i went through a period of time being paranoid about being homosexual it caused me alot depression and anxiety i managed to get over it during my time with my ex.
I never lost my errection when having sex and ejaculated everytime.
Since i was 8 i have been watching pornography and ive never had sexual feelings for males always females.
I have also experimented with girls from a young age and always been aroused when they have stimulated me.
I have also been in love and lusted for girls.
When i lost my ex at 18 i was deeply upset crying for alot weeks felt very low, felt like the end of the world for me, we was together for 1 year and it took me up to 1 year to get over her.
I watched alot porn lesbian porn mostly and man and women during the 4 years i was single,
I didnt have a problem i stressed about wanting a gf so much and felt left out that i didnt have one, im not sure if too much masterbation caused peformance anxiety because ive always wanted to get my hands on the perfect legged, bum, and breasted female but in the real world thats not gonna happen.
I met a girl last year it was a a short time we was together but very quickly i was crazy about her and felt that i loved her i had no homosexual paranoia the brief relationship had to end for certain reasons.
I am now 22 years old and i have been with a girl for 3 months i cannot fully focus on her because im struggling
with peformance anxiety and paranoia of homosexuality again, im not sure if peformance anxiety was the culprit in triggering the paranoia.
I was in a night club with my gf and some friends alot gay men go into the club the dj being gay who i know and his bf who i know their is also a gay lad who goes into the club.
When i kneeled down to get my coat he pushed my head down to his crotch area joking around, at first i though nothing of it and had a laugh and didnt have a problem but the next day when i remembered it my mind just spiraled to the point im at now, sometimes its not strong in my thoughs and other times its just sitting on my mind torturing me putting me to the point of nearly crying and feeling empty inside and making me wana be close to my girlfriend ive liked women from a young age and before i had peformance anxiety i could get an errection very easy over looking at naked women watching, pornography sexual dreams.
Since ive had peformance anxiety ive woken up with only one errection before i had peformance anxiety i use to wake up with an errection everyday.
Ive never had thoughs about having sex with my friends ive never had thoughs about wanting to have a sexual relationship with a man ive never been in love with another male.
a gay man works on nights were i work and he is gay when i see him or talk to him i feel uncomfortable and if i here talk of homosexuality i feel uncomfortable and it triggers my paranoia.
Im awaiting a letter for sessions with a councilor as i think my head is very messed up i have alot issues, im scared i wont ever get through this and become happy i just want to be able to get my errection back get rid of the paranoia and think to the future of having children and to have sex on a regular basis like i use to with my ex girl friend i had extremely high sex drive before i suffered peformance anxiety i would masterbate 3 or 4 times a day.
I would appricate your expert views on my situation, i look forward to hearing what you have to say.
Regards
ben
ANSWER: Hi Ben,
Sorry for the problems you are having.
It sounds like you will benefit a lot from your counselling sessions when they start.
In the meantime, what seems to be happening is that when you feel under pressure or stressed, then previous fears and concerns about possible homosexuality rise to the surface and begin to overwhelm you.
I would suggest if you can, to find yourself a counsellor who specializes in these kinds of fears. Your local gay phone line or similar will have something which can help. Often they also have a walk in service where they will sit down and chat with you.
None of this means you could be gay, it just means these are issues which need figuring out.
I hope this is helpful, if you need anything else, let me know.
Warm regards,
James
P.S. If you want something to reduce your stress then a self hypnosis tape could be really helpful, you could look on the net or check out my site at:
www.hypnosistapes-and-cds.com
---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------
QUESTION: Ok thank you for your advice, i dont feel i am gay though i had no problems with homosexuals and didnt have this problem until i hit peformance anxiety, i did a search on the net and i found a very interesting website that just explains how i feel its spot on,seems im struggling with OCD i am not sure how reliable this site is but it seems to explain how i feel. http://westsuffolkpsych.homestead.com/am_i_gay.html
That is the site.
Hope to get a reply from you.
Regards ben.
Answer Hi Ben,
I couldn't agree more with this webpage - in fact I answered a very similar question to yours a few months ago, saying much the same thing.
The question you have to ask yourself is, if you didn't worry about being gay - what would you worry about instead?
I hope this is helpful, let me know if you need anything else.
