AboutJames Middleton Expertise I am happy answering questions about handling stress and panic attacks, overwork and similar problems.
Experience I am a practicing hypnotherapist of 18 years experience and a qualified Occupational Therapist in community mental health.
Organizations belong to Council for Professions Supplementary to Medicine, Member of the National Register of Advanced Hypnotherapists, Full member of ANLP.
Publications UK Journal of Association for Neurolinguistic Processing.
Education/Credentials Dip Cot, Certificate in Hypnotherapy and Psychotherapy, Certificate in Co-counselling, Reiki 1, Reiki 2, and Reiki Masters. Practitioner of NLP
Awards and Honors WARP Freefall Coach for the British Parachute Association.
Expert: James Middleton Date: 6/11/2008 Subject: living with a paranoid husband
Question After 10 years of living together 24/7, my husband had to go to another country for a couple of months. Free and alone, I do what I please and have only myself to deal with. Listening to a radio program talking about paranoids, I suddenly realized that they were talking of my husband's fears and spinning thoughts. I always walk on eggs with him, so, I'm very careful not to arouse any storm with him. Not physically violent but psychologically, for sure. We love each other very deeply and I assume the choice I made marrying him. I just want to have guidelines on how to live with such a person ( he doesn't have any problems, that's what he says )and, eventually make him realize his paranoid side of him and deal with it. I'm 51 and he's 60, we are grand parents and live in a sunny country, away from everyone we knew. We have walls surrounding the property and, when the new neighbor came in one day, my husband began to argue with him right away about HIS wall and what the poor neighbor could not do on his side of the wall, etc... He's always ready to tell people what they do wrong...and gosh, he's often right at that! But, I'm full aware now that those shameful remarks to anyone, anywhere that I have to live with for 10 years are full fledged paranoid. Yes, love is blind but now, I have time and freedom to mull over my life and see a clearer the picture. He'll be back in 3 weeks and I would like to have something to work with? Is it relevant to say that he's hypoglycemic, on the border of diabetes?
Answer Hi Odette,
Living with such a man must be very difficult.
Describing his difficulties as hypoglycemic or border diabetic may be a very good way to help him think a little more of his own health.
If he starts thinking a little more, then he may seek some kind of help, by which time a medical practitioner may be able to guide him better.
You are right not to arouse him if you plan to stay with him, as you have discovered he has a lively temper.
Finding friends of your own can go a good way to relieving the pressures you are feeling, and finding someone to talk to about how things are will help too.
If you are able to, find a good relaxation tape or self hypnosis tape to play on a daily basis, which will also help release some of your stress.
I hope this is helpful, if you need anything else, just let me know.
