AboutJames Middleton Expertise I am happy answering questions about handling stress and panic attacks, overwork and similar problems.
Experience I am a practicing hypnotherapist of 18 years experience and a qualified Occupational Therapist in community mental health.
Organizations belong to Council for Professions Supplementary to Medicine, Member of the National Register of Advanced Hypnotherapists, Full member of ANLP.
Publications UK Journal of Association for Neurolinguistic Processing.
Education/Credentials Dip Cot, Certificate in Hypnotherapy and Psychotherapy, Certificate in Co-counselling, Reiki 1, Reiki 2, and Reiki Masters. Practitioner of NLP
Awards and Honors WARP Freefall Coach for the British Parachute Association.
Expert: James Middleton Date: 6/29/2008 Subject: I'm afraid of people
Question Dear Mr James,
I'm Mirette, a 15-year-old girl from Egypt. I almost always feel inferior fat and ugly, even though people tell me I'm not. I don't feel beautiful, which dad finds unexplainable and keeps telling me I'm pretty. I was fat as a kid, but I've lost a lot of weight since then, I've been exercising, running and spending an hour every day on the elliptical bike, and I gave up rice, pepsi, macaroni, candy and chocolate over the last 3-4 years. I have yellowish brown hair and hazel green eyes, and I am, as far as the mirror can tell, thin and look pretty. However, the minute I back up from the mirror and start meeting people, I feel Hideous. My self-image is still the 7-year-old me, who I've always found disgusting, I used my old pictures to feed and strengthen my will-power. It has come to the extent that I could spend weeks at home. I tried to go running this morning, which I stopped doing when I began feeling like that and started relying on the elliptical bike, I couldn't even run. I kept walking round the garden and thinking how ugly and stupid people must think I am and I turned around and came back to the house on the verge of tears, I hadn't even made it to quarter the distance. I don't know what to do. It has come to the extent that it takes me loads of energy to even get out of the house. Dad is very supportive, but mum is not. She's the fuel to my negative self talk, even though she doesn't know she's doing it. Please help me, my confidence is in bankrupcy, I can't express myself or my emotions, and I don't have a lot of good friends. In fact, they merely count as 4. one of those is not living in Egypt anymore,two are travelling for the holiday adn the last one is my dad. My social life has been inactive for sometime now, and I can't find the courage to get though the door rather than try to renew it. I don't know when I started feeling that way, but it seems to be worse by the day. I cry for no reason, I'm almost always depressed and I'm one of those people that people describe as "living in her head". I believe I am a strong person, but as soon as I see people, even strangers, every thought or belief is flooded with feelings of inferiority for practically no reason at all. I do hope you can help me. Thank you for your time and energy.
Answer Hi Mirette,
You have very sucessfully used your old picture of yourself as your motivator to help you lose weight and get in shape. This is if I am understanding you correctly.
If you have managed to do this so sucessfully, then presumably using the same imagination skills you can turn it into something else more useful.
If you are not sure how to do this, then ask yourself, what would now be more useful to you, how to see yourself now. If you are still not sure how to go about it, then find yourself a top quality self hypnosis tape which will help rebuild your self esteem and self image. If you need further help with finding one, let me know and I will do my best to guide you.
Once you begin changing how you feel, then being out and meeting people will be fine.
Remember, it has taken you eight years to build these mental images, and it will take you a while to change it, so don't be disheartened if you don't feel fantastic after just a few days.
I hope this is helfpul, let me know if you need anything else.
