Dealing with Stress/anger management


dear James,
I am writing to ask you about managing my anger. This is something I have needed to address for a while. I tend to loose my temper quite fast and be extremely angry for about 10 second and then go extremely calm after. When I go calm though I feel a terrible guilt for having lost my temper as though I could have avoided it had I had some secret thing which probably everyone else on the planet has. I have a very young son who is pushing my buttons 24/7 at the moment and I hate loosing my temper with him. I would never hurt him but showing him my anger and gritting my teeth is something I am ashamed of though I have done it. Please can you advise me as I am really afraid of this. I want to be the best mother I can to him. and I feel like I am failing him by being like this!!!! please help!!!!

Hi Phillipa,

Your experience with your young son is a story every parent has heard and likely been in the same situation more than once.

The fastest way I know, to stop outbursts like this is to take a long deep breath, just before you erupt, and then as you breathe out slowly, count up to 10 in your mind. You know when your about to have your outburst, that's the time to take that deep breath, and then let it out slowly while counting up to 10.

Practice this, while he is not around so that you have the routine familiar in your mind and body.  Imagine you are about to lose your temper, then go through this process, a few times to get used to it.

Your next step is finding someone who can teach you to manage these episodes even better.  It could be a psychologist, a hypnotherapist, or a cognitive behaviour therapist, even a counsellor may be able to help.

Making sure you get some time alone to relax, will also help.  Long walk, long bath, watching a movie, or reading a good book.

I hope this is helpful, let me know if you need more help.

Warm regards,


Dealing with Stress

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James Middleton


I am happy answering questions about handling stress and panic attacks, overwork and similar problems.


I am a practicing hypnotherapist of 22 years experience and a qualified Occupational Therapist in community mental health.

UK Journal of Association for Neurolinguistic Processing.

Dip Cot, Certificate in Hypnotherapy and Psychotherapy, Certificate in Co-counselling, Reiki 1, Reiki 2, and Reiki Masters. Practitioner of NLP

Awards and Honors
WARP Freefall Coach for the British Parachute Association.

Past/Present Clients
Ericksonian Hypnotherapy blog

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