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About Philip Belove, Ed.D.
(Top Expert on this page)

Expertise
Divorce is the beginning of a life review process. For many people, it`is the first intentional decision they make about their lives. The transition into the next stage of life is difficult at first, but it gets easier. The questions I can help you with: What happened? How do I take care of our children? How do I get over my anger? How do I plan a future for myself?

Experience
I am Philip Belove, psychologist and coach. My specialty is helping people do their midlife transformation work, a psychological project that creates a foundation for happy and satisfying second half of life.

Midlife Work, because it involves so much careful attention to inner truth, is notoriously stressful on marriages and on dating relationships.

The challenges of the midlife project are echoed in the typical questions asked me as a dating-at-midlife expert:

?Learning to reconcile what you say with what you do. This challenge is echoed in questions like: Why does he say this when he does that? What is really happening?
?Learning to create your own dreams instead of being the victim of someone else's. This challenged is echoed in questions like these: How do I say that I don't want to xyz? I've been lying about some things and what should I do now?
?Learning to live a life that suits you. This challenge produces questions like Is what I'm doing normal? What if my kids think I'm crazy? How can I say that this is starting to bother me?

A person doing Midlife Transformation Work needs to develop 1) A Working Vision, 2) Skills and Strategies to realize that vision, and 3) External sources of support for the project. My role for people is to be part of the support system. I help people clarify their visions, develop the strategies and skills they need, and I help them review their progress.


Education/Credentials
M.A. Counseling Psychology
Ed.D. Counsulting Psychology (Family Therapy)

   

You are here:  Experts > Parenting/Family > Step-Parenting > Divorce Issues

SubjectDate AskedExpert

divorce10/8/2008Terri Matheis
  Q: I just remarried ex-husband 6 mo ago. I have my own house in my name only. Our marriage isn't ...
  A: Check with a lawyer and see if you qualify for an annulment. That would be your easiest route. I ...
ridiculously long process!10/7/2008Lauren Kaufman
  Q: I separated from my wife over 8 years ago after going to court 4 times. I had no idea how costly it ...
  A: yes you can do this by yourself but it takes time. If your wife has primary custody of the kids then ...
I'm thinking of moving on...I'm afraid to start!10/6/2008Terri Matheis
  Q: I am still married to my husband. I am angry all the time and I just want it to be over. The issues ...
  A: Getting your degree will be a great start to becoming self-sufficient. There are counselors at ...
health and alimony benefits.10/5/2008Lauren Kaufman
  Q: My situation--I LIVE IN CALIFORNIA.......Married 17 years no children, no debts. We own a home. My ...
  A: benefits are a negotiable asset, so he can keep you on his benefits if he elects to, but if not, you ...
health and alimony benefits.10/5/2008Terri Matheis
  Q: SORRY IF THIS IS A DUPLICATE My situation--I LIVE IN CALIFORNIA.......Married 17 years no children, ...
  A: With regard to insurance, you will need to get your own once you are divorced; however, there is a ...
health and alimony benefits.10/5/2008Kindred Beisinger
  Q: My situation--I LIVE IN CALIFORNIA.......Married 17 years no children, no debts. We own a home. My ...
  A: All these questions are legal and I am not an attorney. I can tell you this. Ten years of marriage ...
My husband wont talk to me9/29/2008Philip Belove, Ed.D.
  Q: Four days, my husband stopped coming home, and will not talk to me on the phone. Every once in a ...
  A: Does it have anything to do with your age? Not necessarily. At least we settled the "out of ...
My husband wont talk to me9/29/2008Philip Belove, Ed.D.
  Q: Four days, my husband stopped coming home, and will not talk to me on the phone. Every once in a ...
  A: That usually happens when someone is angry beyond being angry and feels so out of control they don't ...
credit cards/ divorce9/29/2008Lauren Kaufman
  Q: My husband gave me a credit card that was in his name and i have used it for years. However we ...
  A: If your still married and the charges are made by you, they're not fraudulent. They just need to be ...
Bigamy9/28/2008Terri Matheis
  Q: my son and daughter-in-law seperated and started divorce papers back in 2005 and never completed the ...
  A: The marital status of parties is not terminated until a final decree is entered. An annulment can be ...
ex-wife benifits military9/28/2008Lauren Kaufman
  Q: My mom is the x-wife of a Army man for 20 years and has two daughters. They were divorced and he is ...
  A: I have no knowledge regarding army retirement funds but he would have to pay taxes on money that is ...
confused??9/28/2008Philip Belove, Ed.D.
  Q: I been living with my boyfriend for a year now when we started dating he had a son of 10mths at ...
  A: This is indeed a recipe for a disaster. My guess is that she's quite unable to be a mother and this ...
divorced boyfriend9/28/2008Philip Belove, Ed.D.
  Q: I hope you can help. I have been with my boyfriend for a year. We are temporarily "broken up" for ...
  A: I'm glad my clinical hypothesis made sense to you. It may or may not to him. There might be many ...
divorced boyfriend9/27/2008Philip Belove, Ed.D.
  Q: I hope you can help. I have been with my boyfriend for a year. We are temporarily "broken up" for ...
  A: There is a breakdown in your communication. It is impossible for me to tell whether it is A: ...
Removing third party property from divorcing home.9/25/2008Lauren Kaufman
  Q: My mom's husband (not my father) served her with divorce papers this week. The papers stipulate that ...
  A: if your mom's husband just served your mother with divorce papers, she either has or will have an ...
Divorce - toddler - co-parenting9/25/2008Philip Belove, Ed.D.
  Q: My spouse and I are separating/divorcing. We have a 2 year old son together. We want what is best ...
  A: Anne, I don't have any research close at hand that tells me anything. The general prejudice is that ...
Verbal Abusive Ex-Husband9/24/2008Lauren Kaufman
  Q: I have been divorced since June of 2006. Yes, my divorce was very nasty. My ex-husband and I have ...
  A: There is only one thing you can do and thats control what you do. Your ex husband is still the kids ...
Verbal Abusive Ex-Husband9/24/2008Lauren Kaufman
  Q: I have been divorced since June of 2006. Yes, my divorce was very nasty. My ex-husband and I have ...
  A: Why are you responding to your ex at all? You're under no obligation to listen to his accusations. ...
divorce9/24/2008Lauren Kaufman
  Q: currently I had applied for an divorce. I have just found out that my husband and his family moved ...
  A: I have no expertise in marriages that took place out of the United States. Where did you apply for a ...
back to court9/22/2008Terri Matheis
  Q: My divorce became final four years ago. My husband hired an expensive lawyer. Two months before the ...
  A: I don't know the statute of limitations, but I would certainly go see a new lawyer who specializes ...
ex husband and current boyfriend9/22/2008Philip Belove, Ed.D.
  Q: I have been divorced for about 3 years. I have being seeing my boyfriend for 5 yrs. I know this is ...
  A: Tough problem. You tell the whole story in the first two sentences. You had an affair with this man ...
i need advice9/20/2008Philip Belove, Ed.D.
  Q: im a 16 yar old senior in high school.my mother and father are divorced and my mother is remarried. ...
  A: I really don't know the answers. I think you want to talk to an attorney. The way to find one will ...
i need advice9/20/2008Philip Belove, Ed.D.
  Q: im a 16 yar old senior in high school.my mother and father are divorced and my mother is remarried. ...
  A: That is a very hard situation. Not a lot of good options there. I don't really have any ideas. ...
Problems with His Ex-Wife9/20/2008Philip Belove, Ed.D.
  Q: My boyfriend and I have been dating for over a year and a half; we have lived together for over a ...
  A: You have a very serious problem. Lots of bad news here. You will be dealing with this ...
My Boyfriends long divorce9/20/2008Lauren Kaufman
  Q: My boyfriend, that I currently live with, has been going through a 2 1/2 year divorce. He and is ex ...
  A: I would start with the court clerk and ask a lot of questions. They will advise you on the forms you ...
My Boyfriends long divorce9/19/2008Lauren Kaufman
  Q: My boyfriend, that I currently live with, has been going through a 2 1/2 year divorce. He and is ex ...
  A: I would go to the courts without your attorney and explain the situation. There are cases where ...
divorce9/17/2008Philip Belove, Ed.D.
  Q: I have no money, not working had to have several surgeries in the past year. My 23 year old ...
  A: Difficult situation. Thanks for writing. Sounds like you are anticipating the worst and that's ...
Child Custody9/15/2008Lauren Kaufman
  Q: I am going thru a contested custody battle with my STBX. He has temp. custody @ this point. He has ...
  A: Yes, if your children want to be with you that definitely does come into play when you go before a ...
Mourning the loss of one life while celebrating another9/14/2008Philip Belove, Ed.D.
  Q: I have been with my boyfriend for three years now. When I first met him, he was married with 3 ...
  A: Robin, Lovely question. Please do me a favor. Ask those men how they did it. Interview them and ...
Interim Division of Income9/12/2008Terri Matheis
  Q: I am in the middle of a divorce. My soon to be ex-wife is pushing for interim support. I have 3 ...
  A: My advice to you is to stop using her lawyer and get your own. My understanding is that you can ...
ex wife issues9/12/2008Philip Belove, Ed.D.
  Q: I have been divorced for about 2 years. I have joint custody of a 10 yr old son and an wonderful ...
  A: I think your heart is in the right place about this but your methods and approach are producing the ...
Retirement9/10/2008Terri Matheis
  Q: I have a question about retirement. My husband was divorced 20 years ago. He had been married for 12 ...
  A: I'm sorry but now you are taking me way out of my level of expertise. It would seem that if she ...
divorce and debt9/9/2008Kindred Beisinger
  Q: after 21 years filed for divorce from my husband..he has chronically spent/lied about tens of ...
  A: I think you should ask for part of his pension and for maintenance. Don't sign anything that his ...
Retirement9/9/2008Terri Matheis
  Q: I have a question about retirement. My husband was divorced 20 years ago. He had been married for 12 ...
  A: I am not a lawyer; however, I found the following information which may help you understand this ...
Divorce9/9/2008Philip Belove, Ed.D.
  Q: I do not want to divorce for the sake of my kids. We have been married for 15 years and know each ...
  A: I look forward to it. drbelove@datingatmidlife.com or belove@sover.net my number is 802-254-6221 ...
Divorce9/8/2008Philip Belove, Ed.D.
  Q: I do not want to divorce for the sake of my kids. We have been married for 15 years and know each ...
  A: I don't have any immediate ideas. In fact, if have more questions than answers at this point. It ...
Can I move out of state during a separation?9/8/2008Terri Matheis
  Q: I have been separated from my husband for a couple of months. I'm the one who moved out. I couldn't ...
  A: Since you are afraid to bring this up with your own attorney, you already realize that this is a ...
Getting over my ex-husband9/7/2008Philip Belove, Ed.D.
  Q: Im a 26 year old single mother of a wonderful two year old son. I have been separated from my ex for ...
  A: This is truly a difficult transition for you and there are so many difficult lessons in it. Often ...
dealing with ex spouses9/6/2008Philip Belove, Ed.D.
  Q: I am a single father divorced since 2.5 years and out of a relationship that I was abused mentally ...
  A: You don't change your basic negative feelings toward her ex. What happens is they become more ...
dealing with ex spouses9/5/2008Philip Belove, Ed.D.
  Q: I am a single father divorced since 2.5 years and out of a relationship that I was abused mentally ...
  A: It's a common problem. You both are really trying to create a much better life for each other and ...

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Questions by
Active Experts:
Terri MatheisLauren KaufmanPastor Kimberly Lemler
Kay LewisPhilip Belove, Ed.D.Melanie Nathan
Lee BrochsteinKindred BeisingerMr. Sharma C.Ht. Delhi
   

     
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